


That One Betting Pool

by Carol_Molliniere



Series: The Society of Weird Feelings [1]
Category: The Glass Scientists (Webcomic)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Flirting, Multi, Secret Crush, Virginity, also there's lots of cussing all around, basically everyone is a little shit, but the farthest they get is making out, including archer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-12 19:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11743935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carol_Molliniere/pseuds/Carol_Molliniere
Summary: Archer lets out that he's still a virgin. And so the other Lodgers do what any sane adult would do - they make a betting pool out of it. Not to mention Griffin is a little frustrated at this development - but then again, he's frustrated about everything.





	1. Loose Lips Sink Ships

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this idea was from the Discord server.
> 
> I haven't written fanfics in such a long time, much less on this site, so I hope my writing has enough quality to ease the pain. This is set before the events of the webcomic, before Jasper comes along.
> 
> (yes this is a stupid idea, but the lodgers needed more love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pandora's box is opened, basically.

“You know, I caught Dr. Jekyll around his office wearing Mr. Hyde's clothes again last night.”

Archer didn't look up from the tiny fern he was examining, but raised his eyebrows. “Really?” he asked with some interest.

“Yes, really!” Lavender said. “He must have been sleeping with Hyde again – those two do go at it quite often.”

“Now that you mention it, Luckett does go at it quite often too,” Archer laughed. “Remember that one time in the kitchen? Rachel was not impressed!”

“Or pleased,” Lavender said. “But what about you? We're always so busy talking about Jekyll and Luckett and the others that we never hear about your sexual escapades.”

Archer froze, taking his hands off the fern, and looked up at Lavender. “M-my sexual escapades?” he asked. “Uh...well, there was that one time that I was in a pub, and I saw a–”

“A pretty lady, but he said nothing to her,” Bird interrupted. “You don't want Archer to be telling lies; they're too unrealistic.”

“Oi!” Archer shouted, but then sighed. “Fine. I've never...made love to anyone. There, I said it; are you happy now, Bird?”

Bird only chuckled and went back to handling his mushrooms.

“No one? Really?” Lavender asked disbelievingly. “Not even one woman? Or-or one man?”

“Listen, it's not that big of a deal,” Archer said, turning back to his fern. “I've just never felt the need to sleep with anyone, and no one's ever felt the need to sleep with me, that's all.”

Lavender put her hands on her hips. “Oh, Archer, loads of people would most definitely want to shag you! You're an attractive young man; I don't see why no one would want to.”

“If anyone has shown any interest in me, I definitely wasn't around to see it,” Archer said, raising his eyebrows again. Then he flashed a smile. “But do continue to flatter me, Miss.”

“Aw, well,” Lavender said, tilting her head. “At least tell me there's someone you're interested in.”

“Someone I'm interested in...?” Archer looked away. There had to be some way he could answer this question without looking too guilty. He shook his head. “...No.”

“You hesitated,” Bird said, looking under a giant mushroom.

“I did not!”

“Ooh, so that means you do have someone in mind!” Lavender deduced, and Archer groaned. It was too late to save himself now. She closed in on him. “Tell me every detail!”

“I don't have to tell you anything,” Archer said uncomfortably, “these walls are thin, and everyone will hear everything, and I'll have made a proper fool of myself.”

“It will all blow over,” Lavender said.

“How long have we all been talking about Jekyll and Hyde's sexual encounters? About a year now?” Archer countered.

“That's because they haven't told us anything,” Lavender told him. “If you don't tell me the truth, we'll all just make it only second to Jekyll and Hyde.”

“But if I tell the truth, I'll definitely be humiliated.”

“So you're at peace with contributing to the conversation when it comes to our founder screwing his assistant, but you refuse to say anything about yourself.”

“Oh, bloody hell, you would do the same with your own secrets,” Archer put the fern in between himself and Lavender. “And it's completely true that Jekyll's fucking his assistant, anyway. Besides, I would much rather leave you all to your own opinions. Makes for a bit of fun.”

With that, he turned his attention fully back to the fern, clamping his mouth shut. Lavender stared at him for a while, before looking up at Bird.

Bird shrugged. “That's one secret I couldn't figure out.”

Lavender put a hand on her chin, and left the room through the half-open door.

 

* * *

 

When Lavender left the room, she was suddenly aware of a more familiar perfume in the air, along with the smell of motor oil and a flash of a red coat. She looked around, and saw her colleague Cantilupe standing around, pretending to look over the railing at something in the main hall. To Lavender's right, meanwhile, were Pennebrygg and Helsby, trying and failing to make believable conversation.

“How much did you all hear?” Lavender asked with a smile. “Come on, don't be shy; I know the door was ajar.”

“What're you talking about, dear? I didn't hear anything,” Cantilupe replied.

“Nothing about Archer still being a virgin?” Lavender raised an eyebrow.

“Isn't that a virtue, when you think about it?” Pennebrygg said, giving up on feigning innocence and walking up to Lavender. “Being able to save yourself when you're unmarried?”

“When you put it that way–” Cantilupe said, but Helsby interrupted, “Ah, to hell with that! The man needs to live his life! He's probably got a lot of repressed desires from living like that.”

“Not so loud, when Jekyll's in his office,” Pennebrygg joked, pointing a thumb at the doors of said office. “He's probably going to lecture you on virtues and things like that.”

“What does he know; he's sleeping with Hyde.” Helsby waved a hand.

“Well, Archer did say he was interested in someone,” Lavender said. “Didn't tell me who, though, and Bird couldn't put his finger on it, either.”

“I'll wager it's Flowers,” Pennebrygg jumped in. “Those two do spend an awful lot of time together bonding over clockwork.”

“Are you implying that the attraction between the two runs deeper than clockwork?” Helsby asked slyly, nudging the other man.

“I, on the other hand, believe that he is interested in you, Lavender,” Cantilupe added, looking to her colleague. The two men looked at her as well, and she was positively puzzled. “Huh?”

“Think about it!” Cantilupe pushed her goggles up to look her colleague in the eye. “He was quite embarrassed talking about it with you; it might have been because you were the object of his affections, and he didn't want to tell you.”

Helsby snorted. “Or maybe he prefers the company of other men!”

“Excuse me, do you mind?” a voice said behind the group. The four of them looked up to see Griffin, whose face displayed annoyance. “I'm looking for my cat. Bloody thing's gone and run off – have you seen it, by any chance?”

“Nope, sorry,” Lavender said.

“Did you turn it invisible?” Helsby asked.

“No – but it's still such a bleeding pain to have it run off all the time,” Griffin replied. He swore under his breath, and pushed past them, walking on further down the hall. “Well, if any of you see it, get a good hold on it and bring it back to me,” he instructed.

Pennebrygg looked back to the others. “Um, perhaps we ought not to be talking about Archer where he can hear us, actually.”

Upon looking at the door to Bird and Archer's room right behind them, the other three nodded their agreement.

“Let's take it to the common room,” Cantilupe suggested.

 

* * *

 

Behind the door, Archer groaned again, taking his ear from the wood. Bird put the mushrooms down at the sound. “Well, you didn't think what Lavender asked you about would stay here, did you?” he asked. “Like you said before, these walls are thin.”

“At least I haven't exactly ruined my reputation yet,” Archer told him. “Odds are, they'll all just speculate without going anywhere, like whether Hyde is screwing Jekyll or not.”

“Or everything will get blown out of proportion and you'll eventually break.” Bird got up from his seat. “You ought to nip it in the bud before it gets that far.”

“It's not going to get that far,” Archer insisted. “And if I reveal who it is, you and everyone else are going to play matchmaker; and I like to have matters in my own hands when it comes to romance, thank you very much.”

“Is that the real reason why you've never had a romance before?” Bird raised an eyebrow.

Archer looked miffed, but moved away from the door. “Say what you like, Bird, but I have everything under control.” Then he shrugged. “Besides, it's not like things could be worse than having them talk about me.”

Bird moved to inspect some of the bleeding heart flowers. “You may just have jinxed it, actually.”

“There are many fantastical things that have been made into reality here, but a jinx is not one of them,” Archer dismissed. “And they might forget all about this in a week, anyway. So I'm not all that bothered.”

Bird didn't feel sure about that, but decided to let him have his way.

 

* * *

 

A long white tail twitched in front of the common room. Slowly at first, footsteps began to charge towards the cat sitting at the doorway, and the cat tried to get away, but Griffin had caught it at the last second. While it squirmed in his grasp, Griffin took it up in his arms.

“There you are,” he said, scratching it behind its ears to calm in down. “Been a right load of trouble for me to come find you – I might actually consider putting you on a leash...”

A peal of laughter erupted from the common room, so loud that it couldn't be mistaken for anything but a group of Griffin's fellow Lodgers. He glanced into the doorway – it was the four he had encountered earlier, except now Flowers and Luckett had joined them. Griffin blinked, and then rolled his eyes. He had his cat now, all he had to do was get back to work–

“So you really think that Archer's interested in me?”

Griffin froze. He looked back at the common room – it was Flowers who had posed the question, but it was not Flowers he was interested in. He his behind the doorway, and peeked through them to see Pennebrygg nod in response to Flowers' question.

“He's expressed plenty of interest in you and your work!” Pennebrygg said. “I'm pretty sure he once told me he only hoped his work could be on par with yours.”

Flowers blushed. “Well, he has been asking me a lot of questions about my insects...”

Helsby, on the other hand, shook his head. “That just means Archer's admiring your work. Now I'm pretty sure he's got a taste for men – that's why he was so embarrassed.”

“Or maybe he has a secret desire for Ito,” Luckett theorized, and everyone looked at him.

“Ito? You're kidding,” Helsby raised an eyebrow. “I don't think Archer has a death wish.”

Luckett shrugged. “I just thought they might make a good pair. Everyone loves an unusual couple.”

Griffin's eyebrows knitted together. They were talking about Archer? No, no – they were talking about who Archer would be interested in. What did that even mean? Did that mean simple infatuation, or...

“Well, either way, Archer would probably fancy a good fucking from the person he likes, whoever it is,” Lavender commented.

Oh.

A cold feeling washed over Griffin, resting in his stomach. He held the cat in his hands a little tighter – which was a bad idea, because the cat squirmed harder, and scratched him to get loose.

“Ow!” He shouted. “Of all the fucking things–!”

Griffin turned around to chase the cat again, but it didn't go far, as it ran around a nearby person's legs, hiding behind them. Griffin pounced, and landed at the person's feet, but the cat managed to scamper away. He watched it leave, before cursing again.

“After your cat again, Mr. Griffin?” the person above him asked, and Griffin looked up to finally realize that the person whose feet he was at was Dr. Jekyll's.

Griffin frowned, and pushed himself up off the floor. “Well, what's it to you?” he snarled, before walking away in the direction of where his cat went.

 

* * *

 

 _Rude,_ Hyde said in the back of Jekyll's mind.

“He's always like that,” Jekyll said. He decided not to mind it, and turned back to the common room. He was concerned he had left his cape lying around the Society again, and he was not going to let one of the Lodgers hang it up the flagpole in place of the actual flag yet again.

He came into the common room, and walked by the group of Lodgers who were gathering in the center. They seemed to speak in more hushed tones as he passed by, suddenly aware of the founder in the room. Jekyll cleared his throat, and smiled. “Good afternoon, everyone. Have any of you seen my cape around? I fear I may have lost it again.”

“There he goes again,” Helsby said to the others. He then pointed at the mantelpiece. “Over there, Doctor.”

“Thank you.” Jekyll nodded, and strode over to the mantelpiece to grab his cape from it. As he did, he heard Helsby whisper something which caused Flowers to push him hard on the shoulder. Well, he didn't hear it in its entirety, but he did catch the words “fuck” and “Jekyll” – enough to elicit a chortle from Hyde. Jekyll spun around on his heel, cape still in his hands.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked curtly.

“Nothing, nothing!” Pennebrygg said, waving his hands. “It doesn't have anything to do with you, Jekyll – you may be on your way.”

“Oh. Well, alright, then.” And Jekyll did go on his way, walking around the group of people and leaving through the doorway.

Once he was out, Hyde began to speak again.

 _That's darling of them,_ he said. _To make sure their good founder doesn't hear them talking about him again!_

“I'm sure they weren't talking about anything serious,” Jekyll said, walking up to his office. “It must have been just one of those rumors about us sleeping together again.”

_They do talk about that an awful lot around here – they seem to whip up more and more delicious tales of our nightly...shall we say, adventures?_

“Shut it, Hyde,” Jekyll warned, walking up the stairs.

Little did they know that what the Lodgers were talking about was about to blow a _teensy bit_ out of proportion.

 


	2. Stupid Decisions Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde unwittingly sets things into motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if the subplots introduced in this chapter feel a bit forced.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy people making bad decisions.

“You know, I would have liked to end my night by sleeping with someone instead of running back to the Society just so we could change back.”

From inside Hyde's head, Jekyll huffed. _You know you would have had to go back to the Society anyway. Besides, I must be home earlier than usual – I have important people to meet in the morning._

“Important people,” Hyde scoffed. “To hell with them; you could live a little.”

_Hyde, you are not turning back around. You're already drunk, and I am not meeting these people hungover. We're already here anyway._

“You're no fun at all, my dear doctor,” Hyde frowned. “Well, Rachel might be up; maybe I can still have a snack from her.

_Rachel won't be up; this is an ungodly hour as it is._

“Hypocrite,” Hyde sang. Jekyll didn't respond as Hyde jumped down to the kitchen window, and opened it, peering inside. The lights were open, but no one was inside. Hyde looked around for any freshly baked pastries, and there were none to be found.

“It appears, Doctor, that you're not the only disappointment I've encountered tonight,” he said, stepping inside. “Look, I'm going in, I'm going to the office.”

 _You don't need to narrate, we share the same mind,_ said Jekyll in exasperation.

“I know,” Hyde smirked. He made his way to the kitchen door, and opened it, before going out into the main hall. He strode through the hall, making his way to Jekyll's office – but then stopped. He looked at the door leading to the common room, and saw someone standing by the lit doorway.

Grinning broadly, he crept on tiptoe, careful not to make any sound. Once he was close enough, he leaned into the person's ear, and screamed a profanity.

“Dear God!” Rachel jumped, and looked at Hyde, who started cackling. She slapped him on the shoulder. “Don't do that, Edward!”

“Why not? It was pretty damn funny,” Hyde said.

Rachel rolled her eyes, and looked back to the common room. She shushed him. “Quiet, I'm trying to listen,” she said.

Hyde looked inside. “Why? What's going on? Are they talking about me?”

“We don't talk about you all the time,” Rachel told him. “The Lodgers are in there talking about something else.”

Suddenly, Hyde seemed disinterested. “Sounds boring,” he said. “In that case, I'm going up to Jekyll's office.”

He had just turned on his heel when he heard someone inside say loudly, “No way! You don't think he actually wants Hyde?”

“Someone wants who now?” Hyde asked, turning back to the doorway.

_Hyde, no._

“They're talking about Archer,” Rachel said. “Wondering about who he would rather sleep with. They've gotten up early so neither he nor Henry will hear what they're talking about.”

“Oh, you don't need to worry about dear old Jekyll,” Hyde said, puffing up his chest and striding into the room.

“What are you doing?!” Rachel said, almost at the same time as Jekyll did.

Hyde walked up to the sofa where Cantilupe and Lavender were sitting, and put his arms over the backrest, flashing a sly smile. “Did I hear someone wants to fuck me?” he asked.

“Hyde!” Lavender exclaimed, jumping back with her colleague to see him there. “We didn't hear you enter.”

“Oh, that's the great thing about me; no one hears me come or go,” he said. “You got my attention at my name, though. Why does Archer fancy a shag?”

“He never exactly said he wanted a shag,” Lavender put her hands up, and from the other end of the room Helsby joined in the conversation.

“But we're trying to figure out who he'd want it from,” he said. “He could afford to finally sleep with someone after being a virgin for so long.”

“Oh, I see,” Hyde nodded. He straightened up. “Well, I see no reason why he shouldn't be screwing me; I mean, no one said Jekyll and I were exclusive.”

_Exclusive – what the hell does that even mean?!_

“In fact,” Hyde continued, “I bet 20 pounds that I could get him to admit that he wants me, and fuck him at the same time too.”

_Edward Hyde, you had better stop this instant!_

“You're about to lose your money, dear,” Cantilupe said. “I place my own money that Lavender's the one he wants.”

“Don't put me into this like that!” Lavender said. “I'm betting that he could like Doddle, or Sinnett – or even Luckett!”

“So you do agree that he does like men!” Helsby said. “That's not fair, though – placing your wager on more than one Lodger.”

“It gives me more chances of winning.” Lavender crossed her arms.

Hyde laughed. “Those chances won't help you wankers win against me! I'm definitely the one Archer wants – who can resist my charm?”

Rachel coughed at the doorway, sounding a little forced.

The other Lodgers turned around to see her there. “Oh, Rachel, darling!” Lavender said. “I thought you must have been asleep.”

“Me? Uh – I was just curious about what you were all doing.” Rachel put her hands together. “Making another betting pool?”

“We do seem to make a lot of those,” Luckett said bemusedly from an armchair. “But they are a whole lot of fun.”

“Want to join in?” Flowers asked, stepping away from the fireplace, and Rachel waved a hand. “No, no, I don't think I should...”

“Don't you want to know about who Archer would rather sleep with?” Helsby asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I – well – what if he wanted to get married, instead?” Rachel asked. “He might be that kind of person who wants to save himself for marriage.”

“Is that so?” Pennebrygg asked, grinning and looking across the room at Helsby, while the latter rolled his eyes.

“Saving himself for marriage – must be awfully dreadful,” Hyde tutted.

“Thank you,” Helsby said, nodding.

“Well, I don't see anything wrong with it,” Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips. “I think it's awfully nice of him.”

“If that's the case, then it'll take him forever to marry,” Helsby interjected. “Archer's not as smooth as he thinks he is.” He began to tap his chin. “Hm...maybe he might not seem like it, but he'd rather go out and – ahem – find someone out there who might like his company.”

“Helsby!” Flowers said, but Helsby only continued, saying, “What? I'm exploring all options. In fact, I think I'll place my bet there.”

“Once you bet on it, there's no going back,” Pennebrygg warned.

“I'm pretty confident,” Helsby replied, confirming where he stood. “The man does like to go out a lot.”

“Alright, but what if the one he finds out there is me?” Hyde asked.

“Don't get full of yourself,” Rachel said, waving a finger. Hyde only laughed, and several of the other Lodgers laughed with him.

“Hey, keep your voices down.”

Everyone looked up to see Griffin sitting nearby, in front of a small table. His eyes were currently fixed on a test tube, while he was squeezing a few drops out of a dropper. The substance in the test tube reacted to the drips by turning blue, and he sighed in annoyance.

“How long have you been there?” Lavender asked.

“You seriously didn't notice when I came in?” Griffin put the test tube down on a rack on the table. “What am I, chopped liver?”

“No, just invisible,” Hyde commented. Griffin shot a glare his way, but Hyde didn't seem to notice.

Griffin sighed out of his nose, then looked back towards the others. “You're all making wagers about who Archer would rather sleep with?” he asked.

“You want in?” Lavender invited.

He seemed to seriously think about it, before shrugging. “I've got my own take on the matter,” he said. “What if...I was the one whom Archer wanted?”

A hush fell over the room. Hyde raised an eyebrow, leaning over to stare at him. Griffin seemed to be forcing a nonchalant look.

“...Have you been taking drugs?” Pennebrygg asked.

“What do you mean?” Griffin asked.

“Nothing, you've just...never shown interest in another human being that way before,” Lavender said.

Griffin looked away. “I'm not showing interest; just thought I'd have a shot, that's all.”

“A shot with Archer?” Cantilupe asked. “Mr. Griffin, Archer invited you out on several occasions and you turned him down every time.”

“He did consider asking me those times, though,” Griffin countered. “That has to mean something to him.”

Flowers blinked. “...Are you saying you like him?” she asked, a smile beginning to form on her face.

“What? No!” Griffin immediately replied, banging his fist on the table. The test tube shook on the table, and he looked back at it, before grunting. “You're all just speculating whom Archer wants to sleep with without any real basis, and I'm just putting in my own observations. We're all scientists here, aren't we?”

“We have been putting our observations in as well,” Luckett said, his calm tone contrasting Griffin's defensive one. “Archer has just as much reason to like every one of us as he does you.”

Lavender shrugged. “That is, if he does like you. Hasn't he stopped asking you to join him on nights out now?”

“Maybe you just want the money,” Helsby said.

“All I'm saying is that I've got as much a chance at being with him as any of you do!” Griffin exclaimed. “What, is there something stopping me?”

“Uh...” Rachel tried to say, but Hyde began to snicker. Several eyes turned towards him this time, Griffin's included. He narrowed his eyes. “What is it, Hyde?” he asked.

“You work with invisibility,” Hyde said, in between laughs. He caught a hold of himself long enough to continue, “Turned any part of yourself invisible yet?”

“What're you implying?” Griffin asked, standing up from his seat.

“I mean, considering your botched experiments, it does seem likely,” Hyde said, tilting his head. “Archer wouldn't like to pop open your pants and see you've accidentally turned your dick invisible.”

The comment worked as Hyde expected: Griffin's pale face turned a bright red, his mouth open in shock. Helsby sniggered a little, and Hyde joined him in laughing.

“Edward, don't say things like that!” Rachel told him.

“What? It's just a joke,” Hyde replied.

Steam seemed to be coming out of Griffin's ears. He took his things from the table in one arm, and grabbed a hold of the table's edge in his free hand. Then with a loud grunt, he flipped the table over and sent it flying, until it landed back on the floor with a loud crash.

“Think you're funny, do you?!” Griffin shouted, pointing a finger at Hyde. “I'll take that invisible dick and shove it right up your ass!”

“You'll probably have an easier time of that than getting it up Archer's,” Hyde teased.

“Why, you little–!”

Griffin moved to perhaps throttle Hyde, but Flowers moved faster and grabbed his arm to stop him. “Griffin, no! Calm down!” she said. Griffin looked at her, taking deep breaths, before huffing.

“To hell with this,” he said. “Codswallop, all of it!” And with that, he walked past Rachel and out the doorway.

Rachel watched him leave, before looking back at Hyde. “Those weren't very nice things to say,” she told him.

“I'm not a very nice person, love,” Hyde replied.

Lavender looked at the others. “Don't mind him,” she said. “You know Griffin isn't able to control his temper for long.”

“Well, what exactly was Griffin doing here, anyway?” Pennebrygg asked.

“Oh, you know people like him,” Cantilupe said. “He might act sour, but secretly he wants the company of other people.”

“...To be honest, though, do any of you think he actually does have a chance with Archer?” Rachel looked at the Lodgers.

Lavender shook her head. “Archer might be friendly, but Griffin can turn very nasty. I don't see Archer being able to tame him. Or tolerate him, for that matter.”

* * *

 

Once he was out of the common room, Griffin stormed into the main hall and up the stairs, dodging the looks of the other Lodgers who had started to wake up. He breathed heavily, moving quicker than he could process, but he didn't care.

It was so stupid of him to even think that Archer could be interested in him. Hell, it was stupid of him to think that others thought that Archer could be interested in him. Why had he almost broken the facade back there, anyway? Had he really been that desperate for validation?

He shook his head, following his memory to his own door, and was about to head towards it when he bumped into someone in his way.

“Bloody–” Griffin said, stepping back to look at the offender. “Watch where you're going!” Then he froze as he looked at the person in front of him.

“Oh, sorry, mate,” Archer said, waving a hand apologetically. Griffin stiffened up, his anger pushed to the back of his mind.

Speak of the devil.

The sight of him cause the red on his face to come right back – how could he say something like that to him? And Archer was just standing there, waiting for him to do something else. Why was he just standing there?

“Um...” Archer said, scratching the back of his neck. “Are you alright?”

“...Fine,” was all that Griffin could say.

Archer seemed to be a little embarrassed himself. “That's good,” he said, trying to smile. “I'll just...be on my way then.”

Griffin opened his mouth to say another thing, but Archer had already moved to walk past him, and was already far behind him when his mind had caught up.

He looked behind him, and watched Archer's form move through the hall, past the other Lodgers' doors. Griffin clutched his equipment in his arms closer to himself, the cold feeling sinking in his stomach yet again. He gritted his teeth together, and stomped his foot on the ground.

“Dammit,” he angrily whispered, before turning around to get to his door.

* * *

 

_You have to admit, Jekyll, that was pretty fun._

“Do you have a filter on anything that comes out of your mouth?” Jekyll asked, sitting down at his desk. The warm buzz of alcohol was still running in his system, and he thought it would be best for him to take a rest – just a quick seat. “Now you've entered yet another betting pool that the Lodgers have made, and you're going to make me short 20 pounds.”

 _Hey, we never did prove that Luckett wasn't secretly fireproof,_ Hyde said.

“Why did you wager that you could take Mr. Archer to your bed, anyway?” Jekyll put a hand to his forehead. “Mr. Archer has similar interests, but I am sure he's not like any of the women or men that you sleep with.”

 _That makes it more of a challenge,_ Hyde said. _It might be easier than I think to get him to 'bed', as you say, if he does indeed like me._

“What if he doesn't like you?” Jekyll said. “You really want to risk losing money over something as silly as your desires?”

Hyde only laughed. _Oh, but my dear doctor, if I desire him, then where does that desire come from?_

“...You are not going to use that trick on me again.”

 _It's true!_ Hyde's image flowed from pane to pane, stopping in front of the glass cabinet to Jekyll's left. _Every desire I have comes from you! And the thrill of wanting to sleep with dear Archer is no exception._

Jekyll turned away from him, but Hyde floated out of the mirror, refusing to let Jekyll look at anything else.

 _Face it, Jekyll,_ Hyde said. _No matter how perfect a gentleman you think you are, there's always a crack in the armor. And I am your crack. I put everything you don't want anyone to know about yourself on display!_

“Lovely,” Jekyll deadpanned, rubbing his temples. “But everything about this attraction is just physical. I see no reason to pursue it.”

_That's exactly why you should pursue it! There's no strings attached in anything physical! Besides, they never said Archer was looking for a romantic relationship – he was just interested in someone to have a fun time with!_

“There are lots of meanings behind just 'interested'; maybe he wants both.”

_But, Jekyll...there's only one meaning behind wanting to see handsome Mr. Archer sprawled out on your bed, ready to take you at any given notice. I know you want to see him wearing nothing but that coat, and kissing you until you feel like you're going to lose yourself. And I know you want to have him....so badly._

Jekyll ran his fingers through his hair. “God, don't – you know I can't do that!”

 _Good doctor, you're missing the point,_ Hyde continued. _You can't, but I can! I can sleep with him, and you can feel the thrill of having sex with him without tarnishing your reputation! Plus, you get everyone's money if I sleep with him! Doesn't that sound fun?_

“I can't let you do that, Hyde,” Jekyll replied. “Let Mr. Archer make love to whomever he wants. If he's able to do that, then losing 20 pounds isn't so bad.”

_Losing your money, or your big chance to wash away this attraction forever? What if he does like me? What if you could finally see him like you do in your wildest dreams?_

Jekyll set one arm down on the table, sighing deeply. “I can't think about these things – I have to be in charge, and you have to be friendly with the Lodgers. I'm not letting my desires ruin me.”

_Henry Jekyll, you already have. Just look! You created me! That's about as close to ruining yourself with your desires as it gets!_

“I'm not ruining anything, and none of us is sleeping with Mr. Archer. Do you hear me?”

_If only I couldn't._

Jekyll grabbed onto his locks, and buried his face into his other arm on the table.

“Well, I wish the same,” he said tiredly.

 


	3. Jinxed It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archer realized he's underestimated the other Lodgers - and thus begins his revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, everyone is making still making terrible decisions. The thing is, just how terrible are these decisions?

Archer headed down the stairs to the main hall, wondering what Jekyll could have been talking to himself about in his office. He didn't catch anything, just some random noises, but it was enough to make him pretty sure that the Society's good founder was at least a little sleep deprived. Or something.

Well, he shouldn't be one to talk about sleep deprivation – here he was, going out of his room at an early hour to get a drink. And maybe check on that shouting and crashing he heard earlier. In hindsight, though, he had run into Griffin who seemed to be in a bad mood. Maybe the noise had come from him.

A door slammed, and Archer looked up at the rows of doors on the second floor. That was probably Griffin, too. He looked back to the stairs he was descending, and as he crossed the main hall, he absently wondered what had made the other man so cross so early in the morning.

He came near the common room, and stopped – the room was lit, and he could hear the voices of the other Lodgers from inside.

Archer slowed down, and pressed himself against the wall next to the common room's doorway. He inched closer, trying to think of reasons why a group of Lodgers would be gathered together at an ungodly hour to talk about something. Something that Jekyll would find unsavory, perhaps? He grinned to himself. Now he _had_ to listen.

“...And are you sure you're betting on Ito, Luckett?” Lavender's voice said.

“Absolutely,” Luckett's soothing voice replied. “The two of them have an unspoken... _chemistry_.”

Everyone in the room laughed. Archer moved closer to the doorway, trying to see what exactly was going on. He had only been able to gather two things: first, that it was yet another betting pool that his fellow Lodgers were coming up with; and second, that Luckett was pairing Virginia Ito, of all people, with someone. This had to be good.

“Those two don't seem like the type who would get together for a good time, though,” he heard Pennebrygg's voice say. “Now, Flowers – she's going to make a good match.”

“I wouldn't say 'good match'; but it might be nice to be wanted,” Flowers said.

“Well, would you sleep with him, Flowers?” Helsby asked.

“I-I don't know!”

“Maybe if he seduced you, perhaps?”

“I don't have to be seduced by anyone. And if we do end up sharing a bed, it'll be on my own terms.”

“...You still do want to share a bed with him, though?”

“...Maybe.”

Archer blinked. Ito and Flowers, being bet on to sleep with one person? What kind of wager was this? Granted, it seemed entertaining – but why were they betting on this, anyway?

“The point is, we have to find out who he wants to sleep with – and maybe pursue a relationship with, since he won't tell us,” Lavender said. “And make sure they get together.”

“Ha, and maybe get money from them screwing Archer,” Helsby added.

...What.

Archer hid behind the wall, no longer intent to see anything. They – they were talking about _him_? And who he would rather fuck? Of all the things – he couldn't believe it! And they were making bets out of it, too!

Okay, sure. He did think it would be nice to have sex with someone. If anything that Hyde had told the Lodgers was true, it must be an intensely pleasurable experience. And sure, he did have someone in mind – he would call it an innocent crush, though, not someone he simply wanted to fuck.

(Now that he thought of it, though, the sight of the person he liked in bed with him, naked and gripping the sheets, looking at him with hungry eyes, legs spread only for him – _uh oh._ )

Sweat trickled down his forehead, and he swallowed. This was just disgraceful. Both the fact that his friends were betting on who that person was, and the new problem that was growing in his crotch. He had half a mind to storm in there and give the other Lodgers a piece of his mind – while hiding his small problem, of course.

“Luckett, dear, what's wrong?” Cantilupe said from inside the common room.

“Nothing, I just...” Luckett said, “...do you think someone is listening to us outside?”

Oh, shit.

_Oh, shit!_

Archer looked at the stairway, and dashed off in its direction, before hiding behind it. He sank down, trying to control his breathing. Had they caught sight of him?

“Anyone out there, Luckett?”

“No...maybe I was just imagining things.”

Archer stayed behind the stairs for a few moments, unsure of what to do. Should he look up and see if Luckett was back inside the common room? But what if he wasn't? What if Luckett saw him?

Either way, he had to find another way to the kitchen.

He then looked down, and groaned.

As well as take care of his problem.

* * *

 

Well, to be honest, Archer had never so much as touched himself beyond showering and urinating before, so he wasn't sure how to go about it. Plus, if he were to take care of it and he made any...weird noises, the other Lodgers would most definitely hear it, or hear about it.

And what if the object of his affections heard about him in such a state! God! He was embarrassed just thinking about it.

So he did the only thing that was to be done: cover it up with his coat and hope his little friend calmed down a little. Archer made his way to the kitchen then, keeping as far away from the common room so that no one would see he was there. And most definitely, he tried not to think of anything that would only worsen his hidden problem.

No one was in the kitchen when he arrived, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he grabbed a cup and filled it with some milk. He took a slow sip from it, wondering what he was going to do now.

Well, he was right about one thing. They were playing matchmaker for him – just not in the way that he thought they were going to do. And in that point Bird had been right – he had indeed jinxed it. How could he have underestimated the others? Of course they were going to take things to the most logical extremes.

Archer took the cup from his lips. Well, they couldn't know that he knew about their little game now. The problem could only be solved by him telling everyone who he liked – and he was _not_ going to do that anytime soon. He had to find a way that would frustrate them and make them give up without asking him any questions.

He stared out the window at the pavement outside for a moment, and thought about how he would do that.

A thought came to him, and he thought it over in his mind, before smiling to himself.

Well, they were making a game out of it, weren't they?

He would play along.

* * *

 

The next day, everyone went about doing their scientific work, while Jekyll got into a carriage to see some potential benefactors. If anyone else had heard about the new betting pool, they hadn't let slip a single word – which was unusual. And so far, everything seemed relatively normal.

Except Lavender noticed that Archer was walking around the Society without his coat on.

And once she noticed, she began to stare at him as he carried a box of small plants to his and Bird's room, with his sleeves rolled up all the way to his elbows. She stared, before she realized she was staring, and shook her head. Nope, nope, nope. She definitely wasn't thinking about the way his shirt and waistcoat barely even tried to hide his shapely figure, or how his rolled-up sleeves showed off skin she didn't even know she wanted to see.

Oops, now she was.

“Oh, hello, Miss Lavender,” Archer said, snapping her out of her thoughts. Lavender looked up at him, trying to look innocent. “Oh, Archer, hello!” she said. “Do you need any help with that box?”

“No, thanks.” He put down the box on the floor. “But I noticed you were staring at me. What's the problem?”

“I...” Lavender held up a finger hesitantly. “...You're not wearing your coat.”

“Oh, that,” Archer said. “Put it in the wash. It was getting awfully dirty, you know, working with plants and such. Also, I have to air out the shirt I have on my back for once – I fear it hasn't seen the sun since I started wearing that coat all the time.”

He began to stretch his arms, as wide as he could. It was then that Lavender noticed his shirt was also a little tight on the buttons. One of his joints cracked, and he put his arms down. “Ow,” he said.

“Well, I suppose I've held you up long enough,” Lavender told him, putting her hands together. “You can go back to carrying that box to your room, now.”

“Alright then,” Archer said. He sent a little salute her way, and then bent down to pick up the box again. Lavender caught herself staring at his back, and as he lifted the box her gaze moved down to his – ahem – posterior.

Nonchalant, he started walking back to his and Bird's room, humming a little tune. Lavender was finally able to tear her eyes away from him, and turned around. She took her glasses off, wiping them fervently, as if there was a stubborn speck on them.

* * *

 

Flowers stared at the door in front of her, wondering if she should knock. It was the chemistry lab, after all – not someone's private room. However, there was one person inside said laboratory at the moment, and she knew he wasn't given to people coming in while he was working.

Eventually she gave in and knocked. She waited a few seconds, but heard no response from the person inside.

“...I'm coming in,” she called, and opened the door.

The chemistry lab was full of all sorts of curious equipment, from test tubes to unusually shaped flasks – the latter possibly for neoalchemy. There were also strange substances contained in various bottles, some ordinary elements like sulfur or iron, and some moving by themselves in their containers. Flowers, however, wasn't interested in any of these – her attention was focused on the person standing at the second table to the left, swirling a clear substance around in a beaker.

“Thought I made it clear to everyone that I don't like interruptions,” Griffin said, keeping his eyes fixed on the beaker.

“My apologies, Mr. Griffin,” Flowers said, clasping her hands together as she continued, “It's just that...I have to know something. About what you said in the common room.”

“You have to know something, other than I may or may not have an invisible dick?” he said, pouring a bit of the substance in the beaker into an Erlenmeyer flask.

Flowers didn't know if that was meant as a joke, but she guessed she ought to overlook it. “What I mean is that...are you sure you don't really like Archer? You just seemed very invested in the conversation the moment you joined it.”

Griffin put the beaker down roughly, his eyes turning onto hers. “Close the door,” he growled. “Do you want those idiots to eavesdrop or not?”

Flowers already felt uncomfortable, but she wanted his answer, so she went to the door and closed it. She turned back to see Griffin opening a canister of a sweet-smelling powder, and he took out a spatula, his eyes briefly meeting hers again.

“What's it to you?” he asked. “I already told you I don't like him. Are you convinced I was lying to you?”

“Well, I just assumed that–”

“You assumed wrong. I'm not interested in Archer in any way – I'm not that fool who goes after unattainable people. It's just stupid, your betting pool is stupid, I could go on.”

Flowers pursed her lips. “You think Archer is unattainable?”

“I know we're both men,” Griffin said. “That's already unattainable.”

“Right.” Flowers looked down. She tried to smile at him, but he wasn't looking at her. She glanced at the door, and then back to Griffin. He was currently lowering the powder into the flask, as if the conversation had never happened. The mixture fizzed inside the flask, turning a bright shade of green.

“This has been a lovely talk,” Flowers said. “Sorry to bother you.”

Griffin spared her one last glance. “...Yeah, well, thanks for not testing my patience too much.”

“Yes. Yes, of course.” Then Flowers moved towards the door, and was out of the chemistry lab.

Once she closed the door, the mixture in the flask bubbled up, and soon began to overflow from its container.

 


	4. Beginning of the War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Griffin is a mess, Archer is a hot mess, and Jekyll and Hyde agree on something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The characters are beginning to look a little OOC to me - please give me feedback and tell me!

Cold water poured from the shower head onto matted white hair. Said water did nothing to distract Griffin from the thoughts running through his head, but instead forced him to dwell on them as he absently washed the soap bubbles from his skin.

What was Flowers trying to prove by asking him if he liked Archer, anyway? She was the one who thought it would be nice to be liked by him. Hell, he was pretty sure she had bet on herself. And yet she was wondering if he was after the same person she was. Was she having cold feet? Worse – was she _pitying_ him?

Dammit.

He turned around and felt the water pouring on his back this time. Well, he had denied his feelings in front of her and that was what mattered. She couldn't know. No one could know. They would all end up pitying him too.

The soap was gone. He reached out a hand to turn the water off, and once it was off, he stood there for about three seconds.

Would Archer pity him too, if he knew?

Probably.

He grabbed his towel from the edge of the shower cage, and dried himself off.

Footsteps came into the shower room – they seemed to belong to more than one person. He heard a chuckle that could only belong to Helsby, and a response spoken with Luckett's smooth tone. There was also Tweedy's accent mixed in with the voices he heard – there might have been another person too, but he wasn't sure. That wasn't of importance, though; Griffin wasn't in the mood to see any of them.

Sighing, he put on a robe and wrapped the towel around his shoulders, before opening the curtains to the shower and walking out. He did indeed see the three men that he suspected were there – he wasn't expecting them to take a bath the same day that he was – but what caught his eye was not that. No, Griffin saw the fourth man – and it was Archer.

And Archer was removing his fucking shirt.

“It's rather warm today, isn't it?” Archer asked as he unbuttoned the aforementioned shirt. “Having a nice, cold shower sounds nice, especially around this time of day.”

The shirt was then off Archer's shoulders, and Griffin realized he had made a horrible mistake being there. Archer's tanned skin was shining with sweat, and even just looking at his back Griffin could tell his body was nicely formed. Not to mention his nice, broad shoulders and his shapely neck...

Griffin realized he was staring, and blood rushed to his face. It was only after he had this thought, though, that he realized he wasn't the only one staring – the other men seemed mildly surprised to see Archer nonchalantly take off his clothes in front of them.

“Well, someone seems a little eager,” Helsby said – there was a hint in his voice that told of his slight shock.

“What? It's sweltering out there,” Archer said. “Isn't that why you came here to shower?”

“I, uh, just came here because I felt like it,” Tweedy awkwardly answered.

Archer shrugged, and the other men resumed removing their clothes. Archer himself moved his hands down to his pants, and Griffin took a step back, _good Lord have mercy_ –

Fortunately for him, his prayer had been heard. Archer's eyes moved towards Griffin, and they widened. This time he seemed a little self-conscious, and moved his hands up.

“Oh, Griffin!” Archer said, a tad nervous. “Didn't-didn't see you there...”

The other men turned to look at him, and Helsby grinned. “Well, he does seem as invisible as his mice sometimes, Archer,” he commented.

“You finished up 'ere?” Tweedy asked, and Griffin looked at him, before his eyes darted down. There was something wrong.

“...Forgot something in the shower,” he excused himself, before walking hurriedly back inside his own shower cage.

Griffin closed the shower curtains, and turned around so that he was facing the shower knobs again. Hesitantly, he then looked down at himself, and moved to untie the knot holding his robe together. Once it was open, his suspicions had been confirmed.

“Are you alright in there?” Archer asked from outside.

Helsby laughed a little. “Maybe he's checking if it's still visible.”

“If what's still visible?” Archer asked.

Griffin looked over his shoulder, more red coloring his cheeks and ears. “The suds! The suds're still in my hair!” he exclaimed. “Sod off, Helsby!”

Helsby made a defensive noise. “Sorry, sorry,” he said.

Griffin huffed, and then slipped his towel and robe off himself before hanging them up. He stepped forward, and turned on the water again. As the water began to flow onto his head again, he heard some curtains slide open, and then close. The sound began repeating itself, and soon in four other cage showers water was pouring down as well.

Which of those showers was Archer's, he began to wonder. Where was Archer completely nude, letting the water rain down on his bare skin? If he could look, would he see the water drip down Archer's hair and onto his shoulders, drops trickling down his chest and leading down to his–

Without thinking, Griffin raised a fist and slammed it against the metal before him, panting heavily. What the hell was wrong with him? What in the world was he doing? These thoughts – they were clouding his judgment and making a fool out of him. Above him, the cold water tried to wash them away, but it was only making them worse.

“Griffin, is that you?” Luckett asked. “Are you sure you're alright?”

“Fine!” he shouted irritably. Once a few moments had passed without anyone asking him anything, he looked down yet again.

What, indeed, was wrong with him? Why was he feeling this way at all?

Griffin lowered his fist from the cage, relaxing it and raising it to his lips, before he bit down on his thumb. He tried to focus more on his steady inhaling and exhaling as he reached down with his other hand to grab himself.

Well, hell if they heard him. It wasn't like things could end up any worse than they already were.

 

* * *

 

After showering and changing, Archer began to walk through the halls of the Society, flashing a bright smile at everyone. And the other Lodgers either smiled back or stared at him questioningly. He didn't mind, though – he was on a mission. A mission to tease the other Lodgers into submission. And by God, he was going to play them so well no one would even know what hit them.

He noticed Flowers looking at him from her room, and he waved at her. She smiled back shyly, trying to wave as well. He looked back to the path in front of him, a certain swing in his step.

Archer headed towards the staircase, and noticed Jekyll walking up it, perhaps on his way to his office. Probably going to talk to himself again – the way most of the scientists around here did.

He passed that way, and waved a hand at Jekyll. “Morning, esteemed founder,” he said.

“Oh! Good morning, Mr. Archer,” Jekyll said, giving him a smile. “It seems like you're in a good mood today.”

“I am, I am,” Archer nodded, and Jekyll did too. He was about to be on his way when he heard someone snickering. He looked up, and saw some of the Lodgers gathered among themselves, shooting looks at him and Jekyll.

That gave Archer a thought.

Had one of the Lodgers bet on Jekyll? Sure, everyone knew Jekyll and Hyde were a couple, but it seemed plausible. It seemed like exactly the thing some of the younger Lodgers would do.

The corner of his mouth turned upwards. Sure, then.

“But let's talk about you for a second, Doctor,” Archer said, taking a step closer to Jekyll. “How are things with you?”

Jekyll put a hand on the railing. “Everything is fine,” he said. “Nothing to worry about – we may have new benefactors, actually.”

“That's good, that's good.” Archer put his hands behind his back, and took another step closer. He leaned in, in closer proximity to Jekyll than what was normally considered polite. “M'just making sure you're having a good time, too.”

Jekyll cleared his throat, his eyes darting away. “I am, don't worry about it. It-it's alright, really.”

Archer blinked, and then realized how close he was to Jekyll's face. His eyes widened, and he noticed the tinge of pink on the doctor's cheeks, the way they were both breathing into each other's faces–

–what if the object of his affections saw him like this?

Well, he had given the other Lodgers a good enough show. It was time he exited the stage.

“Then if that's all,” Archer tried to finish up, standing straight again, “I'll just be on my way, Jekyll.” He turned to the right, but then he turned too quickly, and lost his balance, falling backwards.

“Oof!”

A steady hand grabbed him. Archer took a moment to catch his breath, before looking up, and realizing that he was leaning on Jekyll's chest. Jekyll's other hand was gripping the banister, making sure they didn't both fall.

Archer immediately found his footing, and got up so that he was at the top of the stairs again, and he smoothed over his shirt. Sweat was starting to form on his skin again, under his clothes and over his neck.

“Going now,” was all Archer could spit out, and he prayed that Jekyll didn't notice how his voice cracked as he walked away.

 

* * *

 

“Did you see that?”

“Archer was making a play for Jekyll!”

“No way!”

_Sounds like the focus is on you again._

Jekyll shook his head, and walked up to the doors of his office. “There's no reason for the Lodgers to believe that he was making a play for me.

_But he was indeed flirting with you._

Jekyll grabbed the door knob, and opened the door with a little more force than usual. “There was nothing going on; he was just asking me how my day was. That's polite of him.”

_Yes, and then he leaned in, staring at you with those alluring green eyes–_

The door was shut behind him, with an even harder push now. Jekyll sighed loudly. “What reason do we have to think that Mr. Archer was flirting with me, then?”

_You tell me; that look he was giving you? Fairly sure he was trying to woo you, Jekyll. And we both know he's interested in someone..._

“Then that means you've lost your bet, Hyde,” Jekyll raised his eyebrows, turning to look at the mirror, where his reflection greeted him. “Weren't you the one who wanted him to sleep with you and get your money's worth?”

The reflection sneered at him, its eyes tinged with a bright green. _Well, I wouldn't have to be making a move on him if you were to do it yourself and save us both the trouble._ Then the reflection put a finger on his chin. _Now that you think about it, Jekyll and Hyde both catching Archer's eye – now that sounds fun._

Jekyll sighed deeply. “And what if he wasn't interested in me? What if he was just...trying to be nice, but going about it the wrong way, as his fellow Lodgers tend to do?”

Hyde snorted. _Why else would he be speaking with such honey in his voice–?_

The reflection stopped talking abruptly – a thought ran through their mind, halting the conversation for a moment.

_...Does sweet little Archer know about the Lodgers' bet?_

“He couldn't,” Jekyll reasoned. “He wasn't awake to hear them make their initial bets.”

_Word goes around fast in the Society for Arcane Sciences; someone must have let something slip,_ Hyde told him, lifting a finger. _Then that probably means Archer's just playing the game._

“Well, that means he must have known there were other people around when he began talking to me,” Jekyll said. “He must have been just giving them a show.”

Hyde took a step from the mirror to another glass panel, turning his appearance back to his regular self. _I see you're disappointed, my good doctor. But there are ways we can turn this around._

“Disappointed – what do I have to be disappointed for?” Jekyll asked. “He's not enamored by me – and that's a weight off my shoulders! It's not like any interest we have in each other is less than professional!”

Hyde crossed his arms, a corner of his mouth turned upwards. _I know for a fact that the interest you have in him is indeed less than professional. Classy, Jekyll._

“It is not that way between us!” Jekyll denied. “Even if I wanted it to be, it would never be that way!”

_Your move, Doctor,_ Hyde said, kicking off his feet and floating through the various glass panels again. _Either you continue to be stressed out about your desire to be 'better friends' with good little Archer, or you let me do the...ahem, talking for you. And one of those options doesn't seem like it's got a chance of solving your little problem._

He then turned his head to look directly at Jekyll. _So how's about it, Doctor? Shall we have a night out with Mr. Archer?_

Jekyll watched Hyde float by him. He seemed to seriously give this some thought.

“...There's always the possibility that you aren't the one he wants,” Jekyll said.

_And there's always the possibility that I am._ Hyde floated out of the glass, resting his chin in his hands as he looked Jekyll in the eye. _Give me a chance, Henry. Who knows, it could be worth your while. All you have to do is let me loose at the best possible time. And you'll have the satisfaction that you dreamed of._

Jekyll inhaled, and then exhaled.

“Hyde...” he said. “...if you do something to screw up Archer's perceptions of you or I...”

_I won't, I won't!_ Hyde gleefully clapped his hands together. _Let's see how much fun we can have, eh?_

Jekyll nodded, feeling that he had just said something he couldn't take back.

Well, whatever it was, it was out of his hands now.

 


	5. Making A Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, Helsby was right - Archer's not as smooth as he thinks he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not much I can say about this chapter - except that I promised make-outs, and ended up writing simple kisses instead. Oh well, the lesson here is: don't count your chicks before they're hatched.
> 
> Except the next chapter will definitely include a make-out session.

Much to Hyde's chagrin, though, Archer didn't go out on the town for about a week.

No, Archer stayed inside the Society for a week instead, getting as much work done as he possibly could. And not just his work on his plants – no, he was also making a play for some other Lodgers, to get them frustrated of their bets.

But instead of frustrating them, this seemed to only egg on the Lodgers even more. Word did get around fast, and more Lodgers got in on the betting pool. More Lodgers got implicated, and Archer retaliated with his own flirtatious behavior.

Soon the Lodgers had their own suspicions that Archer knew about the betting pool. And soon Archer heard that they thought he knew about the betting pool. Which of course, was true, but he wasn't going to tell them that. So Archer played coy and didn't let out a single word. Not to anyone – not to his roommate Bird, not to their esteemed founder, and most especially not to the person he liked. He would throw up if that person found out the reason for all this was because he liked that person and wanted to pursue his affections on his own.

All in all, it was work. And he had a lot of it.

Archer was currently trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he walked through the halls of the Society. He hadn't gotten a lot of sleep since he was plotting who to target every day now, and how. He didn't know if any of the other Lodgers had noticed his tiredness, though. Maybe they were just distracted by his tight-fitting waistcoat. (Now that – that was pure genius on his part, putting his coat aside in his closet for now.)

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Virginia Ito walking by him, carrying a large box of what looked like neoalchemy equipment. They seemed to be struggling with the load in their arms.

Archer turned on his heel, facing Virginia's direction. “Miss Ito?” he asked. “Do you need any help with that?”

Virginia adjusted the box in their arms, sparing him a glance. “I can handle this, Mr. Archer,” they said. Then Virginia promptly stumbled, causing the box's contents to rattle inside. Archer moved quickly and caught the box, looking at Virginia.

“Handle it, my arse. Look, this is obviously too heavy for you,” he told them.

“Like I'm going to let you decide what's too heavy for me,” Virginia replied, looking quite miffed. They adjusted their hold on the box again, but Archer wasn't going to let go any time soon either. He looked them over, at the sweat forming on their forehead and their fingers, which were obviously relaxing at the lack of weight on them.

“I think your body's already decided,” Archer said, and with that he pried the box from their hands. It was heavy, no doubt about it, but nothing more so than the metal parts he always had to haul in for his clockwork. He took a deep breath, and looked to Virginia, who sighed.

“I guess you really aren't going to let me carry that on my own.” Virginia put their hands on their hips, and then walked forward. “Come along now. I need to take that to the chemistry lab.”

Archer nodded, and thus began their walk to the chemistry lab – it was a ways from the main hall, but nothing Archer convinced himself he couldn't handle. He watched Virginia walk in front of him, not saying a word. He guessed that Virginia didn't want to bother him when he was carrying so much stuff.

And so in silence they made it to the chemistry lab, where Archer could finally put down all the equipment in his arms. As he did so, he sighed in relief, and wiped a few beads of sweat from his forehead. He ran a hand across his lips to get rid of the sweat collecting there as well, when he noticed that Virginia was looking at him.

“What?” he asked.

“This is a dangerous game you're playing,” they said, crossing their arms and stepping closer to Archer.

He blinked. “Pardon?”

“What you're doing to the other Lodgers,” Virginia said. “It's pretty stupid how you've let a simple betting pool get to your head.”

“What? Me?” Archer asked, taking a step back. “I don't know what you mean by that. A betting pool? You mean the one where we had to prove that Luckett was fireproof?”

“No, not that one.” Virginia shook their head. “You know exactly what I mean.”

“N-no, I don't,” Archer said, and winced upon hearing himself – his voice was beginning to crack.

“You're like an actor in a theater play when you're out there, flirting with them,” Virginia continued. “You do a fine job of convincing them that you really mean it, but I'm certain you're just playing games with them. Because of those bets they made on who you're going to sleep with first?”

Archer looked away. “Uh...”

Virginia wasn't the first Lodger to doubt that he was ignorant of the betting pool, and they most definitely wouldn't be the last. Unlike a lot of the other Lodgers, however, Virginia always managed to find a way to sound as cold as ice. That always made their questions, no matter how well-intended, sound more piercing than intended.

He swallowed. “I don't know what you're talking about, honestly.”

“You're a right awful liar, mate,” Virginia stepped even closer. “You know you don't mean those sweet nothings you whisper to the others. I'm onto you – you don't know what you're getting yourself into by doing this.”

Archer watched them, trying to keep a straight face on as they went on. “To be honest, I think their betting pool isn't all that different from the other ones. I don't know why you're treating it like it is.”

“Because everyone's meddling in my love life,” Archer said without thinking – and then his eyes widened, before he clapped his hands over his mouth.

“Aha!” Virginia pointed a finger upwards.

“No!”

“You do know about it–”

“No–”

“–you _are_ playing games with everyone!” Virginia had a triumphant look on their face. “Pray tell, though, what is it about your love life that you think this matter so important?”

Archer looked down, balling his hands into fists. Crap, he had just drawn himself into a corner. “Like you would want to know,” he said, frowning deeply. “Everyone just cares too much about the person I said I was interested in – they just don't know who it is, and I would rather it stays that way.”

“And what's so wrong with that?” Virginia asked. “This whole problem could be solved by just telling everyone who that person is! How stubborn can you get? Why? Are you embarrassed to say it in front of everyone? Afraid you'll get rejected?”

“You don't know what you're talking about,” Archer said. He felt frustration beginning to bubble up within him.

“I know exactly what I'm talking about,” Virginia pointed at themselves with their thumb. “There's no harm in telling someone.”

“And you think you're just the person to be trusted,” Archer snapped. “I don't know if you do know what you're talking about, but if I tell the people who started the betting pool, they'll only start meddling with my love life. You would probably do the same if Jekyll finally admitted he was sleeping with Hyde.”

“I'm not going to–” They cut themselves off, and then sighed. “Look, I like the idea of Jekyll and Hyde together as much as most in this Society do. What's wrong about the way you're doing this is that you seem too afraid to tell everyone how you feel. And maybe you don't have to tell everyone – what if it were just you and the person you liked?”

“I'll be made fun of.”

“Such finality,” Virginia drawled. “Look, if you aren't going to tell that person, me, or anyone else in this building, I'm going to figure it out for myself – it must be the one person you aren't comfortable flirting with!”

“I assure you, there are several people I'm uncomfortable flirting with!” Archer said, his voice breaking again. “For example, Mrs. Cantilupe's married.”

“Excluding the married ones, obviously,” Virginia said matter-of-factly. “It's just a matter of trial and error; I'll figure you out eventually.”

“No – Ito!”

Archer grabbed Virginia by the arms before they could move, and pulled them closer to him. The frustrations he felt before had increased tenfold; and he needed to let it out. He had to make sure Virginia would just stop talking about this – he couldn't let them do anything!

He took a few deep breaths.

Then without thinking, he leaned in and pressed his lips against theirs.

It was only when he realized that he could taste the lipstick on Virginia's lips that he knew what he was doing, and he pulled away, red smeared on his own mouth. Virginia was for once dumbstruck, their mouth falling open as they stared at each other.

“...I-I didn't mean that!” Archer squeaked, putting his hands up. “Honest to goodwill, I didn't!” He looked around the lab and out the open doorway – did anyone see what he did? Hopefully not.

Virginia was still silent, their eyes now as wide as their mouth. The expression on their face moved from dazed to absolutely shocked, and they grabbed a stool from the table next to them before sitting down on it. Archer could have sworn he saw them shake a little.

“...Ito?” He asked plaintively. “Are you alright?”

“...Did you seriously just do that...?” Virginia asked, putting a hand to their head.

“I swear, I didn't mean it at all!” he said. “I mean – it was a complete accident! Don't hold it against me!”

Virginia finally closed their mouth, and looked up at Archer. They didn't say anything, though, and that worried him immensely. He put a hand over his mouth. “Oh, God, I've broken her,” he said to himself, before looking back at them.

“...Look, none of this ever happened, alright?” Archer tried, his voice breaking more now than ever. “Let's just pretend this never happened. We'll leave it alone for the rest of our lives, okay? Okay?”

“...I think that would be for the best,” Virginia finally replied.

Archer nodded, forcing a smile. “So I'll be going...now...” he said lamely, pointing out the door as he began to walk backwards towards it. He bumped into the doorway, before finally exiting the lab.

 

* * *

 

Lavender had been passing by the various labs in the building when she noticed Archer walking hurriedly out of the chemistry lab. He seemed to be mumbling something to himself – something that sounded an awful lot like curse words. She tilted her head; she wondered what had made him that way. So she walked to the doorway of the chemistry lab, and peeked inside.

Inside the lab, Virginia was already standing up, looking at a box on one table in a daze, before taking out its contents one by one like one of Pennebrygg's automatons. Lavender stepped into the room. Virginia Ito? Putting Archer in such a state? Now she was definitely curious.

She walked into the room, but Virginia didn't even look up – that was a first. Lavender walked closer to Virginia, and cleared her throat, prompting the latter to finally look at her.

“Oh, Miss Lavender,” they said, before looking back to unpacking the equipment. “What are you doing here?”

“Nothing, I was just...” Lavender put her hands together. “...I saw Archer come out of here; he looked quite flustered.”

What happened next surprised Lavender: red colored Virginia's cheeks, and they looked away from her.

“It's nothing, honestly,” Virginia said. “We were just talking and things got out of hand.”

“Got out of hand how?” Lavender asked, before a smile began to form on her face. “What were you two talking about?”

Virginia opened their mouth to say something, before shaking their head. “It's nothing of consequence,” they said. “Just leave it alone.”

“If it's got Ito embarrassed, it must be something of consequence,” a voice behind them said, and Lavender and Virginia looked over their shoulders to see Doddle peeking through the doorway, a smile on his features as always. “Do you think this means Luckett is winning?”

“Luckett?” Virginia asked.

“Nothing, nothing!” Lavender said to Virginia, before turning to Doddle. “If Luckett thinks he's winning, he's got another thing coming!” she said.

“Does he now?” Doddle asked. “Anyway, I'm not giving up hope on my bet just because Archer managed to put Ito in a daze.”

“You probably should,” Lavender smirked. “Archer and Rachel would never think of each other that way.”

Doddle chuckled. “We'll see.”

Lavender put a hand on her hip, while Virginia rolled their eyes and got back to work. Doddle shifted a little in his position, and that was when Lavender noticed a familiar green dress move behind him. Before she could point it out, however, Flowers was gone.

 

* * *

 

Flowers walked through the hall, wondering where Archer had gone. A curiosity was beginning to grow within her, and Virginia didn't seem too eager to dish out anything – they seemed rather flustered, in fact. And she wanted to know why that was so. Virginia was not the type to get flustered. (At least, she thought Virginia wasn't.)

She finally caught sight of Archer going into his own room, and she hurried after him as fast as she could without tripping over herself. She passed Griffin, who was in the process of setting a trap for one of his invisible mice, and Sinnett and Luckett, who were chatting idly, in the process. Yet she didn't notice much of them, single-minded in her pursuit, and finally managed to get to Archer and Bird's room. She knocked on the door – no sense in not being polite. She was, after all, just there to ask a question.

“Come in,” was the reply from inside. Flowers took a hold of the doorknob, and opened the door.

As always, the room was full of a wide array of plants one wouldn't find in any normal garden. The gears in the clockwork tree at the wall steadily turned, while the other machines keeping the room in its stable state hummed with activity. The only thing that Flowers could notice was absent from the room was Bird – Archer was alone.

“Miss Flowers?” Archer asked. “What're you doing here?”

Flowers felt her heart beat faster in her chest. Perhaps she was a little embarrassed too. She pushed the door behind her, not noticing that it didn't click shut. And so she stepped forward, towards Archer.

“I don't want to take up too much of your time,” Flowers said. “I just have to know something.”

“Well, if it's something about the plants or the devices, I'd be happy to tell you,” Archer said.

“...And what if it wasn't?” Flowers hesitantly asked.

Archer blinked, and then he looked away. “Oh.” He crossed his arms, and felt the sweat begin to collect again. “Is this...about Ito?”

Flowers looked him over. “If you don't want to talk about it, I understand.”

He shrugged. “How much did you see?”

“See? What was there to see?” she asked. Then she realized what he meant. She came a little closer, but not too close. “Did you do something imprudent?” she asked.

“I guess you could say that,” Archer replied, continuing to look away. “Did she not tell you about it?”

“Kept her mouth shut,” Flowers said. “I think she's too shy to say anything about the matter.”

“That's new,” Archer commented. “But I can see why. I did something that I didn't intend to do, and it was totally stupid of me – it's a wonder she hasn't given me the old one-two or something.”

Flowers thought her reply over. This was quite a delicate matter, but she couldn't stop herself from continuing the conversation.

“...Did you do more than flirt with her?” she asked.

“N-no,” Archer told her, but it sounded more like a squeak.

Flowers felt her heart sink. But she had to confirm what she was feeling.

“Is she the one you're interested in?”

The answer was immediate.

“No.”

Flowers' eyes widened as he looked at her once again. He tried to smile, but faltered a little. “I know, doing something like that with someone you're not even interested in is wrong,” he babbled. “And I know it's wrong, it's just – I didn't mean to do it, she was just – I wanted to shut her up, but I didn't know I would do that–”

He was instantly cut off by Flowers taking two strides forward and kissing him intently on the lips.

She shut her eyes as she did so, and all she could feel was his chapped lips against her own, and the hammering of her heart within her chest. It all felt so surreal, and she felt like she was outside of herself – but at the same time, she savored it, and she wanted it.

This was too goddamned reckless.

But she had to let him know about her feelings – she couldn't handle it when he was already stating he had someone he loved. What if it wasn't her? She didn't know. But all she knew was that she had to get the message across.

Archer wasn't kissing back.

She pulled away for a bit, and looked up at him. His green eyes were just as wide as they had been when she had initiated the kiss. He was breathing as fast as she was, and the look on his face was of shock. It was a look similar to Virginia's when they had asked them what had transpired between them and Archer.

Flowers moved forward again, and brushed her lips against his. Archer inhaled sharply.

That was when Flowers realized – what was she doing? She was kissing someone who clearly had little experience in the ways of love – was she so intent on sending out her emotions to him that she wasn't considering his? And what was he thinking right now? Would he hate her for doing this?

Flowers didn't get her answer, though – Archer spotted something over her shoulders, and gasped, turning pale. Flowers whirled around to see the Lodgers she had passed in the hall staring at them through the open door.

Luckett seemed more than mildly surprised at the sight before him, while Sinnett began to hide behind Luckett, perhaps embarrassed to be caught. They both looked like they were about to say something, but it got stuck in their throats.

And then she saw Griffin standing beside them – there was an expression on his face that Flowers had never seen before.

He was distraught.

Just as quickly as she had caught the look on his face, though, it quickly turned to one of anger.

“You're disgusting,” he snarled, “putting on that whole display where people can see you!” He looked past Flowers, at Archer. “It's pretty clear you've become a right godawful flirt as of late, but I never thought you would actually want to take it to the bedroom!” He panted, before he shouted, “Well, why don't you screw each other's brains out and be done with it!?”

“Wait – Griffin!” Archer said, moving forward, but Griffin had turned around and stormed off. Sinnett and Luckett got out of Griffin's way as he did so, then shared a look, as if asking each other why he was reacting so strongly.

Flowers had a feeling she knew why, though.

 

* * *

 

“Out of my way!”

The other Lodgers in the hall immediately complied, knowing not to refuse Griffin when he was in a rage. He walked quickly past them, breathing heavily, just as he did a week ago – only this time, at least someone hadn't humiliated him in front of everyone.

It sure felt worse, though.

He gritted his teeth together, walking on memory to his room. He wasn't paying attention to anything else around him. He didn't want to. None of that mattered.

Archer had kissed someone else. God, the man he loved kissed someone else. Did he enjoy it? Did he like the feeling of having her lips against his? Did he feel the way about her that she did?

And Flowers – ugh, that woman! She practically threw herself at Archer! She must have only asked him that question in the chemistry lab to make sure she didn't have one more Lodger as competition to Archer's affections, and then closed in once he denied his own love for him. He was right – she _was_ pitying him, the lovestruck fool!

Griffin finally reached the door to his personal room, and threw the door open, before entering the room and slamming the door behind him. He made for his small bed, and sat down on it, trying to catch his breath.

At least Flowers could pursue her affections. At least no one would think it strange if she said that she liked Archer. And at least she had the guts to pursue him the way she did.

As for him? He was just a lovestruck fool, tripping over his own feet, crazed with his own emotions. He didn't even know how to pursue Archer – or if it was worth it to pursue him. Archer had someone. And everyone was right – it probably wasn't him.

Who would love an ill-tempered, unsuccessful brat like him?

He bowed his head and ran his fingers through his hair, groaning in pain. It couldn't be his fault no one liked him. They just didn't understand him. He hated being different from them – he hated not being able to process things the same way they did, putting on a frown when others would normally give a smile.

That was probably why Archer liked everyone else better than him, though.

Maybe it was indeed his fault.

He felt something wet roll down his cheek. He caught it in his hand, before wiping the other tears out of his eyes. He couldn't cry, he couldn't.

Well, it didn't matter if he cried or not. He had made a proper fool out of himself either way.

 


	6. A Night Out On The Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archer needs a drink, and Hyde is there to accompany him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold my crappy make-out scene in this chapter!

“So, Edward, any progress with Archer yet?”

Hyde's stomach turned sour at the question, but he put on a smile. “Everything's going just fine! There's nothing to worry about; I'm already worming my way past his defenses. I'll soon prove that he likes me for sure.”

Rachel snorted. “I'll believe it when I see it.” She pulled a loaf of bread out of the oven, and sniffed it. “He seems to be flirting with everyone nowadays. I'm of the opinion that he knows what exactly everyone is doing with their money.”

“That's not going to be a problem,” Hyde said, uncrossing his legs atop the counter. “Our dear Archer will crack eventually. You'll see. And he'll confess that yes, it was me who he was interested in all along.”

“What makes you so sure?” Rachel asked as she set down the loaf on the counter. “Archer hasn't gone out of the building in about a week now. You two probably aren't as close as you think you are.”

“Please – the times we do run into each other on our nights out, he absolutely enjoys my company!” Hyde held up a finger, grinning widely. “Who would have a reason not to?”

“You can get right annoying, Edward, in case you haven't noticed,” she answered bluntly.

“But you're still around,” Hyde told her. Rachel only sent him a smile, and went back to fussing around the kitchen. He watched her for a while, and then looked towards the loaf of bread. Maybe Rachel wouldn't mind if he took a piece. He had reached towards the bread when he heard two voices outside the kitchen – they belonged to Sinnett and Pennebrygg.

“You're kidding! She actually kissed him?” Pennebrygg asked.

“Yes! I saw it with my own two eyes!” Sinnett replied.

“So that means Flowers is winning?”

“We can't say for sure – she was discussing something with him about Ito.”

“What about Ito?”

“Archer did something 'imprudent' with Ito, whatever that means.”

“Goodness, what a player! And we don't even know which of the two is the one he likes!”

“It could be someone else entirely!”

“For God's sakes, Sinnett, Archer's not in love with Bryson.”

“He could be!”

Hyde stared at the two outside the kitchen – they seemed to be unaware that he was in the vicinity. He blinked, and then looked to his left to notice that Rachel had paused in her work – she was listening in as well. She turned to her right and shared a look with her companion.

“You're slipping, Hyde,” Rachel commented.

“I am not,” Hyde said irritably. He grabbed a bread knife and cut into the loaf of bread. “Just because he did something with them doesn't mean he's totally interested in them. He could be just trying to cover up any hints of his small crush.” He took out a slice of bread, and bit into it. God, he was hungry – Jekyll had barely anything to eat the whole day.

Rachel noticed the way he finished off the slice in two whole bites, and then wiped her hands on her apron. “I suppose you'd want some cheese with that?” she asked, trying to be polite.

“Yes,” said Hyde. Rachel went to get the cheese, and that was when Hyde noticed that the two Lodgers outside had fallen quiet. When two Lodgers went quiet – that normally meant someone they didn't want to have their conversation heard by had come along.

Flowers entered the kitchen, looking sorely tired. She passed Hyde and Rachel, and reached for an apple in the fruit bowl. Everyone was silent as she bit into it, and chewed slowly, as if she was thinking.

Well, this was awkward.

“You know what, love, I think I'll be taking my leave,” Hyde said, swinging his legs off the counter and landing on the floor. “I'll be eating that cheese on the way, thank you.” Then he shot a look at Flowers. “After all, I don't think I could improve the situation from here.” He walked over to the window, taking a hunk of cheese from Rachel's hands, before exiting through said window.

 

* * *

 

Hyde jumped over rooftops, the taste of cheese still on his tongue. He was intent on washing it out with some liquor – no, not just some. Who knows, he might even have a whole feast to himself! He did have enough money in his pockets for a bunch of food, after all.

_Careful spending, Hyde._

“I don't need you to tell me, Jekyll,” Hyde said, rolling his eyes. “I've got my spending habits under control.”

_Yes, because you only spend it on alcohol and other frivolous things._

“Shut up, Jekyll.”

After going a certain distance from the Society, Hyde reached the seedy part of London, with all its simple charm of dirty streets, numerous pubs, and drunk people wanting to have a good time. Well, Hyde wanted to be part of the third, and so he descended from a roof to a small pub, hidden near a bunch of flats.

He entered the pub with a spring in his step, and several people looked up at him. The attention didn't bother him in the slightest, however – in fact, he was relishing his time out as himself while he could. People looking at him only meant that he was worthy of attention. The barmaid herself noticed Hyde walk in, and sighed heavily.

“So you've decided to show your face again,” she said, a little grumpy. “After that fight you started that ended with me spending too much on repairs.”

“You know that fight was going to start with or without me, anyway; that guy was just begging to be punched,” Hyde told her, leaning on the counter. “The usual, miss.”

The barmaid rolled her eyes, but she wasn't going to turn down his order once she heard the clink of coins in his hands. She turned around to prepare a drink, and Hyde seated himself with a smirk.

“Mr. Hyde?”

Hyde knew that voice. He turned to his right, and saw who else but Archer sitting beside him, a full mug of beer in front of him.

“Archer!” Hyde said, grinning even wider. “What're you doing here? You haven't been out in a week – what a surprise!”

Archer tried to smile. “Yeah, well, the Society has become, for lack of better words, a hellhole for me.”

“A hellhole?” Hyde echoed, inching closer. “I thought you were enjoying all the attention you got from your fellow Lodgers.”

“I lie,” Archer told him simply. He ran a hand through his hair, making it even scruffier than usual. “Ugh, I've gotten into such a mess. Kissing two women that I don't even like!” And then for emphasis, he threw his forehead down onto the counter, resulting in a loud thump. “What the hell's wrong with me?”

Hyde looked him over. “You...don't like Flowers or Ito?”

“I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it,” Archer said tiredly. “It just sort of happened; and now I'm in too deep.” He looked up at the mug in front of him, and ran a finger around its rim. “I don't want this.”

Hyde crossed his legs, now fully facing Archer. The barmaid brought him his drink, and he grabbed it without looking, before taking a long, slow sip, slurping a little. Archer stared at him for the duration of this sip, before Hyde took the glass from his lips.

“Well there's one thing I can see that you want,” Hyde said. “A fucking drink.”

Archer lifted his head from the counter, and then the corners of his mouth turned upwards.

“You're absolutely right,” he said, lifting his mug. “I need a fucking drink.”

 

* * *

 

One drink soon turned to two, and then three, and after that Archer and Hyde stopped keeping track. They drank and drank until Hyde started singing old folk songs with curse words scattered throughout, while Archer could barely keep his balance atop his chair. Hyde's accent also began slipping, much to Archer's amusement, and in turn Archer began to do bad impressions of his colleagues – he made a decent Mosley, though. And then they drank some more, until they got kicked out – the barmaid must have feared that if Hyde got any drunker, he would start picking some fights.

That didn't bother Archer in the slightest, though. A warm buzz flowed through his veins as he and Hyde walked through the dingy streets of the East End, laughing as Hyde told anecdotes of his adventures around the area. Granted, they seemed a little exaggerated, but Archer didn't care. He could care less about everything, actually.

What...was he supposed to care about, again?

“But let's talk about you for a second, Archer,” Hyde suddenly said, moving to stand in front of him. “How are things with you?”

“Couldn't be better!” Archer immediately exclaimed, flashing a lopsided smile. “There's nothing to worry about at all! Not even...” He paused, bringing a finger to his chin. “...Not even...”

The memories came back to him, slower than they should have, but he remembered them and the emotions he felt all the same. He frowned – wasn't he supposed to forget that ever happened? And yet...

Hyde took two languid steps closer to him. “Are you thinking about those other Lodgers?” he asked. “Don't worry about them! After showering all your attention on them, you deserve to have a tiny vacation from them!”

Archer looked at him, tilting his head comically, before he chuckled. “That's true,” he said. “I can afford to leave them alone!” He walked forward, and then stumbled, causing Hyde to catch him.

“Easy there,” Hyde told him, a little playfully. “I don't want to end up dragging you home.”

“And I don't want to be dragged home,” Archer added, standing up straight once again. He looked at Hyde, and was almost certain of what his face looked like to the other man – it was probably a face of endearment. But that was fine, he didn't need to be concerned about a thing.

“You know, Mr. Hyde, you're a lot nicer than you say you are,” he said, and Hyde looked away.

“What's that supposed to mean?” he asked. “You're beginning to sound like Rachel – you don't know how much evil I'm capable of!”

Archer's smile became softer. “Heh, then I like you either way.”

Hyde raised his eyebrows. “What's not to like?”

“Mm-hmm.” Archer shuffled his feet on the spot, still trying to regain his balance. He inhaled, the air full of a strange stench that was probably from the garbage in the alley they were walking through.

“And there's nothing to worry about...” Archer trailed off, feeling a strange sensation rise up.

“Absolutely nothing,” Hyde reassured him, grinning from ear to ear.

The strange feeling grew stronger, but Archer wasn't concerned about it at all. There was nothing for him to care about.

“So, you wouldn't mind...if I...?”

Once again, without thinking, Archer bent down and kissed Hyde on his mouth.

He didn't even know why he was doing it – it was as if he was a man with nothing to lose by doing this. But he knew he needed to kiss someone so badly, and he wanted to mean it. So it was to his delight that Hyde began kissing him back, and for the first time since this whole mess began he really felt relaxed.

Hyde soon took control of the situation, and began to push Archer against the wall next to them, continuing to kiss him again and again. Archer softly moaned, and Hyde took this time to adjust their position so that they could kiss more comfortably. Then Hyde pulled away, and the two of them opened their eyes to look at each other.

“My,” Hyde said. “You're at least a decent kisser.”

He pressed his thumb to Archer's bottom lip, and then moved up again to kiss him again. Except this time in addition to their mouths pressing together, Archer could feel Hyde's tongue entering, and he couldn't help but touch it with his own. He moaned a little louder this time as their teeth clacked together.

Whatever Hyde was doing, he liked it.

He tried to place his hands on the other man's ribs, before moving them down to his waist. Hyde made a sound of mild annoyance, and grabbed the back of Archer's head to pull him down and kiss him harder.

Was this what he had been aching for all along?

With a sudden pang, he realized that it wasn't.

Archer's eyes snapped open, and his hands moved up yet again. He pushed Hyde off of him, gasping for breath. Then he stared down at the other man, who stared back, and raised an eyebrow.

“What is it?” Hyde asked.

“We-we've been snogging,” Archer said dumbly.

“Yeah, so?” Hyde stepped back, putting a hand on his hip. “Spit it out.”

Archer put a hand to his mouth. The strange feeling he had was beginning to well up from his stomach, burning his heart. The alcohol was still running through his arteries, though, but less pronounced than before.

“I can't...” he stuttered, “...wouldn't like it...”

“Who wouldn't like it?” Hyde asked. “Jekyll? No – he wouldn't mind at all; we do fuck each other, but we're always up for a third party.”

“No...” Archer said, clutching his stomach. “Mis...”

“ 'Mis'?” Was this it? Was Hyde going to know who Archer was longing after?

The answer came – Archer keeled over to his left and threw up.

“Oh, fucking shit!” Hyde exclaimed, feeling a little sick himself. Archer vomited for a few seconds, before he had finally emptied the contents of his stomach, and he looked up at Hyde, wiping his mouth on his coat sleeve.

“M'sorry,” Archer said. “I...I...”

Weak from his vomiting, Archer's knees buckled, and he fell over, leaving Hyde to catch him once again. Hyde blinked, and then adjusted his hold on the taller man so that he could get a look at him.

“Archer?” Hyde asked.

Nope, Archer was out cold.

 

* * *

 

 

“Guess I did end up having to carry him back...” Hyde grumbled as he walked through the streets of the East End, with a fainted Archer over his shoulder. In this state, he couldn't even jump from rooftop to rooftop, which would have undeniably cut his trip back to the Society short. But no, he had to take the long road – literally.

He sighed. “Well, it would seem this was a lovely experience. Semi-lovely, though, if it weren't for him blacking out on me.”

_Hyde, you've been on nights out with Archer before. You know he has a low alcohol tolerance._

“The man needed the liquor, and I wasn't going to refuse him, obviously,” Hyde said. “Like a certain someone.”

_You just wanted someone to drink with._

“And snog, don't forget.” Hyde looked up at the various rooftops of the buildings around him, trying to guess what they looked like from above. He heaved a sigh of annoyance.

“Well, you did figure out one thing tonight,” he said. “You're not the one he wants.”

_And neither are you._

“Well, I guess we could call it even.” Hyde frowned. “Still wondering who the lucky git is who gets to keep him. He has the makings of a good kisser. I bet he would look amazing in bed, too.”

_We can't think about that now. We have to bring him back and disregard any lingering feelings we might have about him._

“Right, right.” Hyde grinned. “So you can now focus back on the other apple of your eye?”

_Suggesting that I am attracted to a colleague is one thing; suggesting I have feelings for Lanyon is another!_

“No, it isn't,” Hyde said, beginning to walk with a swing in his step yet again.

Now that he thought about it, he would love to see the delicious expressions on the other Lodgers' faces when he brought Archer back in this state. And the questions they would ask! The strange scenarios they could come up with! That would almost be worth losing twenty pounds.

Almost.

 


	7. The Person Archer Likes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archer finally tells the object of his affections how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the part we've all been waiting for!
> 
> ...If you know me on Tumblr or Discord, it's actually sort of a foregone conclusion where this is heading, though.

There was a loud ringing in Archer's ears.

Archer groaned, and opened his eyes. What happened last night? He could barely remember a thing. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, and surveyed his surroundings.

Well, he could surmise that this was definitely his bed he was sleeping on. He was in his room, then. But how could he have gotten into his room? He remembered leaving the Society building, and then...and then...

He sat up, more memories from last night coming back to him.

He was with Hyde. He had met Hyde in one pub, and the two of them drank together and walked out together...and then...

He rested his head in his hands. Oh yeah.

The ringing did nothing to tune out the memory that he and Hyde had been making out last night.

After that, he couldn't remember anything else. Did he say something else? Did they do something else? He rubbed at his temples, trying to remember more.

Did they...fuck?

No, no, they couldn't have.

Could they?

Archer looked his bed over. It didn't bear any signs that someone else had been with him – then again, they didn't have to screw each other where the other Lodgers could hear them. They could have done it right in that dirty alleyway.

Why didn't he remember?

Archer lay back down in bed. No, if something like that happened, he would rather forget it. Whoever bet on Hyde must have gotten their money already – there was no way Hyde would keep secret a conquest like that.

And then he agonized over what the others might think. Him, snogging and then sleeping with Hyde of all people! They would probably ask him all sorts of unsavory questions, and probably a lot of them would involve Jekyll. Poor, poor Jekyll. What would the esteemed founder think of his paramour-slash-personal assistant fucking another man?

Oh, God – what would the person he was interested in think? That he was shallow? That he was leading the other Lodgers on? That he was a right godawful flirt?

He didn't think he could face anyone.

So he pulled the covers over his face and went right back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Well, sleeping until the late morning didn't help at all.

Archer was still groggy, and still hungover. And what was worse, he had probably missed breakfast. Not to mention he had a strange dream – Hyde was there, and he was whispering sweet nothings while taking off his clothes. But for some odd reason, Hyde had the voice of the person he liked, and kissed him with Flowers' gentleness.

Whatever.

Archer had half a mind to just stay in bed forever, and not have to be bombarded with questions. But he knew he couldn't do that – he would have to eat eventually, and he would have to keep maintaining the plants and the clockwork devices. Would it really be so bad if he went outside? The Society was just a rumor mill, anyway – maybe Lavender had been right a week ago, maybe it would all blow over. He could tell them what he knew, and be done with that.

With some reluctance, though, he finally got out of bed and began dressing himself. He had been sleeping in his clothes from last night, and was eager to get out of them – they reeked of alcohol. He almost automatically put on some new clothes, and then his coat and goggles, before heading out the bedroom door.

He spotted Bird, much to his relief, but then the relief was short-lived. Next to Bird was Jekyll, who seemed to have been talking with the former before he came. Now as the door opened, the two men looked up at Archer, and he felt self-conscious.

“Dr. Jekyll?” Archer asked, squinting. He had better get that matter out of the way first. “What are you doing here?”

“Hyde had told me he ran into you last night,” Jekyll answered. “He had to carry you home because you passed out drunk.”

Archer put his fingers together. “Oh, um...he did? That's awfully nice of him – did he tell you anything else?”

Jekyll stood up. “Only what I needed to know.” He put his hands behind his back, and gave Archer a smile. “Anyway, it's good to know that you're up and about again. If you need a hangover brew, you can ask Miss Ito; she can make one for you.”

“Miss Ito?” Archer forced his smile. “I don't think that will be necessary.”

“If you say so,” Jekyll said. “Well, I would best be taking my leave. I have to meet with Dr. Lanyon about the upcoming Exhibition. I do hope you both will have a fine day.”

“Aye, thanks, Doctor,” Bird said, waving goodbye. Jekyll nodded at them, and left the room.

Archer stared after him, before taking Jekyll's seat and settling himself down. Bird poured out for him a cup of tea, while Archer looked over the breakfast laid out on the table; it was probably for him since Bird's side of the table was empty. He thanked Bird quietly and tucked into the food. It was cold now, but it wasn't like he was going to point it out.

“You were out with Hyde last night,” Bird said.

Archer chewed, and then swallowed. “That's about it,” he said. “Anything else?”

“Hyde told us last night that you both had been...together.”

“Oh, no.” Archer put down his fork. “Together? What exactly did he say?”

Bird adjusted his glasses. “You don't remember?”

“Not a thing.” Okay, fine, he did remember some things, but it wasn't like it was the whole night. “Did Hyde say we slept together?”

“Does it feel like you did?” Bird asked.

“How am I supposed to know? I'm a virgin!” Archer leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. “Actually, I don't know if I still am – but even if we did, about the bet–”

“So you do know about the betting pool.”

“I'm an awful liar, and you know that,” Archer interjected. He sighed. “Anyway, even if we did fuck, whoever bet on Hyde hasn't exactly won.” He looked away. Why was he telling Bird this?

Well, the answer was simple; he had thrown caution to the wind a long time ago.

He looked back up at Bird. “Hyde's not the one I like.”

Bird nodded, putting a hand to his beard. Archer was half-surprised that he didn't instantly question fucking someone he wasn't interested in – Bird probably had experience in doing stupid things drunk. He suddenly felt a bit of respect for the older man.

“So, who is it, then?” Bird asked. “The sooner you tell me, the sooner we can sort out this problem.”

“I...” He tried to say, but then trailed off. He didn't know if Bird would tell anyone else. They were all gossips under one roof, sure, but he didn't know if anyone would make fun of him for liking this one person. Maybe this was what Jekyll felt like, being asked about the state of his affair with Hyde all the time. Being the subject of gossip was not any fun.

Bird opened his mouth to say something, but then he was interrupted by a knocking on the door. They shared a look, before Bird got up from his own seat and walked over to the door, opening it.

“Is Archer inside?” the plaintive voice of Flowers asked, and Bird stepped inside to let her peek through. Once Archer saw her face, he gulped, and blushed a little. She still hadn't explained the kiss, but the meaning behind it was pretty obvious to him, and so he wasn't surprised to see her a little embarrassed as well.

“Oh, there you are,” she said, clasping her hands together. “We just wanted to know if you were alright – after the state you were in last night...”

“And also if it's true that you and Hyde fucked,” Helsby butted in, peeking through the open door as well. Beside Helsby was Lavender, giving him a look. Then she turned to Archer. “Hyde told us that you two had snogged, and left us to make our own conclusions. Which, naturally, ended in you two sleeping together.”

“Hyde said that?” Archer asked. Well, that was uncharacteristically nice of Jekyll's assistant. So maybe they hadn't screwed after all. He stood up, and walked over to the others. “Well, I don't know about that, but I can't remember a thing about last night.”

“Well, at least try to remember!” Helsby exclaimed. “We need to know for – ow!” He was interrupted by Flowers elbowing his ribs. He rubbed at the spot where she had hit him, before he swallowed.

“We need to know because Mr. Hyde can tell lies,” Rachel said from behind Flowers.

“I don't know anything, honestly.” Archer put up his hands. “Is that all?”

“Do you like Hyde?” Lavender asked.

The echoes of more Lodgers outside the door followed – it sounded as if a lot of them had gathered outside the room. Archer frowned a little. Bird sighed, and then looked at his colleagues. “Archer told me he doesn't.”

“What – Bird!”

The excited sounds coming from the other Lodgers began to grate on Archer's nerves, and he raised his shoulders, feeling like he ought to shrink.

“So it's not Hyde?”

“Who is it?”

“Is it Flowers?”

“Lavender?”

“Bryson?”

“It can't be Bryson!”

“Well, it can't be me, either!”

“I bet he paid for sex!”

“Helsby!”

“What about Luckett?”

Archer was on the verge of yelling at everyone to just shut up, when he noticed a familiar face standing behind everyone else. He looked at that face, and then their eyes met – before the person he was looking at started running away.

“No – wait!” Archer exclaimed, running forward and pushing past the other Lodgers. They continued to bombard him with questions, but now wasn't the time for that. Once he was finally past the crowd, he looked left and right, before spotting who he was looking for, who was turning a corner.

“Wait a second!” he said, running as fast as he could after that person. He ran down the hall, and turned the same corner – he had entered the section of the Society where the laboratories were. He saw the door to the chemistry lab slam shut, and then ran to that door, before hopelessly turning the knob. It was locked.

“Let me in,” he said, pressing himself against the door.

“Why should I?”

“I need to talk to you, and there's a mob of our colleagues out there preying on me!” Archer knocked on the door. He could hear the voices of the other Lodgers getting closer. “Let me in, please.”

There was a moment of silence, before the doorknob clicked, and the door opened. A hand reached in and grabbed his coat sleeve roughly, before pulling him inside. Archer stumbled a little as he got inside, while the same hand that pulled him inside moved to shut the door and lock it.

Archer turned around, and came face to face with Griffin.

 

* * *

 

Griffin crossed his arms. “Well?”

“Listen, about what you saw yesterday – that didn't mean anything,” Archer began. “It just happened so fast, and I didn't know what to do.”

“Yeah, like you didn't know what to do when you kissed Ito,” Griffin said. “I heard the rumors. Are they true?”

“Well, yes, but–”

“Then why're you talking with me? To clear up confusion? To stop me from yelling at you?” Griffin asked. “Because if that's the case, then we have nothing to talk about. Sure, it didn't mean anything. Just go talk to someone who cares.”

He walked past Archer, over to a table right across the room. He didn't want to face Archer right now – sure, so he had saved Archer from the Lodgers' questions, that didn't mean they had anything to talk about. He didn't want anything about Archer to hurt him anymore.

Archer faced him again, though, and pressed on.

“It's about time I told someone, at least – I don't want to do this anymore,” he said. “A week ago, I thought this was a good idea. But now everything's just spiraled out of control, and I just...” He hesitated, before finishing, “...I don't want anyone to win, but at the same time I don't want to be a virgin anymore.”

Griffin spared him a glance. “You're out of luck,” he said. “Everyone's bet on nearly every possibility.”

“Have they?” Archer asked tiredly.

“Well, I know you're interested in someone here,” Griffin said. “And someone's probably bet on that person. It's either someone gets their money, or you continue this charade forever.”

Archer groaned, and rested his elbows on the other end of the table, placing his head in his hands. “Say it isn't so – is there at least one possibility they haven't tried?”

Griffin blinked, and then sighed. Was he going to tell him? He didn't want to sound like he was desperate – but Archer was, and it wasn't like he was going to get it anyway. Archer had someone else.

“...There is one,” Griffin said.

Archer looked up at him. “Hm?”

He looked away from Archer. “Yep. Actually...some idiot suggested I was the one whom you wanted. And Hyde said I didn't have a chance, because I probably had an invisible dick.” He shrugged, and rubbed his nose. “After that, combined with what people call my bad temper, I didn't really stand a chance. Which is alright, considering you probably don't–”

He cut himself off as he turned around to see Archer bending over the table, looking right at him.

“That's perfect,” Archer said, looking relieved. “By God, that's perfect!”

“What? The joke?” Griffin asked.

“No – I mean, I guess if I'd told you before, this whole mess would probably never have happened,” Archer said. “But I was too scared to know what other people might think, and what you might think...”

“Just say it,” Griffin said, even as his heart began to beat faster.

Archer looked down for a second, before looking up.

“I like you.”

Griffin's eyes widened. Was that – did it mean – no! He couldn't get his hopes up! He shook his head. “You're lying.”

“What?”

“Don't make me out to be a fool; you'd say that to anyone you want to sleep with just so everybody would lose,” he went on. “I mean, I'd love to get revenge on them as much as you do because of my apparently invisible penis. But wouldn't you rather fuck someone else? Who cares if they get their money? Aren't you attracted to Flowers, or anyone else in this goddamned building?” He grunted. “Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have told you. Right bloody idiot I was.”

Archer faltered, but for some reason Griffin didn't find any satisfaction in looking at his face. His feelings for Archer still lingered, and he still cared for him – but he couldn't take the bait. He wouldn't.

“Griffin – I would never have meant to clear things up with you if I didn't like you,” Archer said, walking around the table to get closer to him. Griffin moved to turn away, but Archer grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to look at him. “I'll admit, you can't control your temper, you swear a lot, and you are a downright jerk. But in spite of all that, it's you I want. And I don't know if you like me back – I don't even know if you'll really laugh in my face – but I should have told you a long time ago. I am so, so sorry. I'm the idiot here.”

The two of them looked at each other silently for a few moments, before Archer looked away, his grip on Griffin's shoulders loosening. “...You're right, I guess,” he said. “I do sound like I'm lying. I don't want to take up any more of your time.”

“Wait.”

Archer looked back at him. Griffin swallowed, and then reached up to cup his face in his hands, before leaning forward.

As he pressed his lips against Archer's, it momentarily crossed his mind that there were people who had kissed Archer too – or made out with him, in Hyde's case – and he was almost jealous. But then Archer kissed him back, and those thoughts were pushed to the back of his mind. Just as he was pushed to the edge of the table.

“Mmf,” Griffin said, and Archer pulled back. “Sorry,” he said.

The two of them caught their breath for a while, before Griffin adjusted his glasses. “Well, one thing's clear, you're not the only idiot.”

“So that's why you were so upset when you caught me with Flowers,” Archer said. He exhaled out of his nose. “I'm really sorry.”

“Well, that was a right good kissing you've given me; so consider your apology accepted,” Griffin told him.

His companion softly laughed, and ran a hand through his hair. “That's a first for you.”

“...Well, so we were both afraid, weren't we?”

“That's true.” Archer looked down. “And now I've gotten myself into such a horrid mess.”

“We can still fix that.” Griffin smirked. “Still want to fuck me?”

Archer looked back up at him, and returned the smile. “Depends,” he said, leaning forward and whispering into Griffin's ear. “Do you want to be fucked?”

A smile was forming on Griffin's lips when Archer looked back at him – it was the first smile he'd had in what felt like a long time. “Come here,” he said, pulling Archer onto him, into another kiss.

They exchanged kisses again, before Archer grabbed him and pushed him down onto the table behind him. Archer eyed him lovingly, and then kissed him again.

When he pulled away, the first thing out of Griffin's mouth was, “What, right now?”

“When else?” Archer asked.

“We can't do it here, obviously; either Jekyll or Ito will get seriously pissed if we make a total mess.” Griffin raised an eyebrow. “Besides, I've got a better and more comfortable idea.”

Archer blinked. “Do it in Jekyll's office?”

He was not prepared to hear Griffin laugh so loudly at the statement – but he was glad to have even heard a laugh come out of him at all. To someone else, the sound might have been considered a bit grating, but Archer thought it was just wonderful.

“No,” Griffin said once he stopped laughing. “Meet me in your room tonight.”

 


	8. The Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lodgers find out who Archer likes in the strangest way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the last chapter of this fanfic! Thanks to everyone who has supported this fanfic up until now, and please enjoy!
> 
> Yep, enjoy the bonus Jasper in the chapter too.

Lavender and Flowers walked down the halls of the Society, idly talking about one thing or the other. Flowers in particular was all too happy to talk about the progress she was making with her insects, and the upcoming Exhibition that loomed over the Lodgers' and Jekyll's heads. It was all fine, until Lavender changed the topic.

“I hear Archer's been looking a little livelier than he was this morning,” Lavender said. “Did you know, Flowers?”

“...I had seen,” Flowers replied, looking away. “Perhaps he had a talk with someone and it really cheered him up.”

“What if he was talking with the person he liked?”

“Maybe.”

Lavender caught the forced smile on Flowers' face, and reached out to hold her hand. “I was just suggesting,” she said. “We don't have any way to know who he really likes. Who knows, it could be the people I bet on! Or it could be you!”

“He didn't return my kisses,” Flowers said. “And I was such a fool to make my feelings known like that. Maybe he does like the people you bet on, maybe–” she sighed, “–maybe he resents me for throwing myself upon him like that.”

Lavender turned to face Flowers, holding her hands tighter. “Don't speak like that! Archer wouldn't hate you for something like that; and you're not a fool, either.” She looked at Flowers intently. “Even if I did bet on other people, you're my friend, and I want to make you happy. If Archer liking you – or at least not hating you – will make you happy, then it's fine.”

“...You don't think I'm an idiot?” Flowers asked.

“Of course not!” Lavender said sincerely. “Now, chin up. Let's go see Archer and find out what he thinks.”

Flowers nodded her agreement, and with that the two ladies went down to Archer's room. When they got there, they saw Tweedy, Mosley, and Bird huddled outside the door, talking in hushed tones.

“What's going on over here?” Lavender asked, and the three men looked up at them.

“Oh, cross them off the list,” Mosley commented.

“Cross – what are you three doing here?” Flowers pressed on.

Tweedy and Mosley looked to Bird, who spoke. “You see, ladies, I was on my way here to check on Archer when I heard something,” he said. “I heard...questionable noises, and we're just trying to figure out who it's coming from.”

“Questionable?” Flowers asked, a second before Bird's hidden meaning caught up to her.

“You don't mean someone is _screwing_ in there?” Lavender asked incredulously.

“That's the theory,” Tweedy replied. “And we've already figured out one of the voices – it's Archer. He's so loud, it's obscene.”

“It is obscene that you would talk about something like that in the presence of two ladies,” Mosley chided.

Lavender came closer to the door. “To hell with that; we've talked about worse!” She pressed her ear to the door, and did indeed hear some strange sounds – in what could only be Archer's voice.

She put a hand to her mouth, and then looked up at the others. “Have you figured out who the other person is yet?”

“Too quiet,” Bird told her. “Can't get a definite voice out of that person, be it he or she.”

“We were actually wondering if it was either of you two when you came,” Mosley said. “Guess not.”

“Guess not, then,” Flowers echoed quietly. Lavender and the others looked at her, and the four of them were silent for a while, as out the door came some louder moans.

“I'm so sorry, Flowers,” Lavender said. “I can take you to your room, if that's what you need right now.”

Flowers seemed to consider the option for a while, before shaking her head. “That won't be necessary, Lavender. I want to see this mystery solved once and for all.”

“We all do, to be honest,” Bird said. “Suffice to say, we'll be losing sleep unless this is solved as soon as possible.”

A very loud moan pierced the air from behind the door. The five of them turned to look at it, with Flowers and Lavender blushing a little.

“...I don't think I'll get a lot of sleep anyway after hearing that,” Tweedy added.

 

* * *

 

Morning came and found these five lodgers half-asleep at the door, while some of the other Lodgers passed them by, off-handedly asking what they were there for. Some joined them, while some decided to go about their normal morning habits. Eventually there was a group of now nine Lodgers outside Archer's door, waiting expectantly. And so everyone looked up when the lock clicked open, and Archer finally peeked through the door.

“Well, what are you all doing out here? Don't you all have things to do this morning?” he asked, sounding bemused.

“It's about time!” Helsby exclaimed before anyone else could get a word in. “Who the hell have you got in there with you?”

The other Lodgers began voicing their own questions, and Archer winced, putting a hand up. “Alright, alright, I know you're all curious, but could you all just–”

“Who the bloody hell is out there making all that noise?” A familiar gruff tone asked, causing the people outside the door to freeze.

Seconds later, who else but Griffin poked his head through the doorway, looking slightly annoyed. “All of you, ruining a man's sleep after he gets a good screwing. That's right rude of you.”

Several of them gaped, before Lavender slowly put a finger up to point it at Griffin. “...You?!” she asked, in a state of disbelief.

“Yeah.” Griffin raised an eyebrow. “What's the matter? Just because my cock's invisible doesn't mean I can't seduce someone with it.”

Archer covered his mouth, though the next words he spoke were still loud enough to hear. “Actually, it's not invisible, not at all.”

He snickered, and Tweedy narrowed his eyes. “I'm sorry, did we miss something?”

“Well, it's not like Griffin, being who he is, would ever let anyone see someone's won him over,” Archer told them. “As for me, I'm an awful liar, but I sure am good at keeping my mouth shut.”

Griffin snorted. “Sure weren't last night.”

“God!” Archer looked at him, blushing.

“To be honest, Archer, you were very loud,” Bird interjected.

“No, no, this must be some sort of trick,” Helsby said. “You, sleeping with Griffin? Is this some sort of joke to throw us off your scent? We know you know about the betting pool – sleeping with the one person no one bet on, that's clever.”

“I tell you, good sir, it's no trick,” Archer said. “We really do like each other. Although Griffin being the one person no one bet on was a delicious bonus.”

“It's true,” Flowers said, and everyone looked at her. She gulped, but went on, “I mean, I saw that Griffin really does like Archer. He denied it, but that's the denial of a man in love.”

“It is, huh?” Griffin asked. “Then why did you kiss him?”

“...I just couldn't let a day pass any longer without letting him know how I feel about him.” Flowers looked down. “Of course I was scared of what he might do. But I wanted to be the reckless one for once. I never intended to hurt you, or Archer – you should have seen how distraught he was when you stormed out. That's how I realized I wasn't the one he loved, but...I'm fine with that.”

Griffin regarded her for a while, opening the door wider. “Well, I could never admit my feelings the same way you have, Miss Flowers,” he said, trying to adopt a tough tone and failing. “I can respect you for that.”

Flowers looked up at him, giving him a tiny smile. For a moment she thought she saw him return it.

“But how?” Pennebrygg asked. “How could you two fall for each other, of all people?”

“Actually,” Archer said, scratching the back of his neck, “it's a long story.”

 

* * *

 

_Present Day_

There was a strange squeaking sound coming from the floor. Jasper looked down, chewing on a slice of bread, but didn't see anything. Yet the squeaking continued, and so Jasper looked around for its source. Slowly he began to realize what it was, and took a piece of bread from the slice, before bending down to the floor.

“Hey,” Jasper said, holding out the piece of bread. “Here you go, I'm not going to hurt you.”

He heard one more squeak, before the scratches of tiny paws came towards him, and he felt something nibble on the piece of bread, breaking off tiny chunks that rested inside an invisible mouth. He watched the invisible mouse eat for a while, before gently picking it up and holding it in his hands.

“What're you doing all the way out here?” Jasper asked it. “I'd better get you back to Mr. Griffin before you get lost again.”

Jasper walked towards the door to his room, and then opened it, before going out. He looked left and right, before walking up to the nearest Lodger – Flowers.

“Ahem – um – excuse me?” Jasper asked, a little quietly, but Flowers heard him and turned towards him. “Yes?” she asked.

“I was wondering if you knew where Mr. Griffin is,” he said, holding up the hand that held the invisible mouse, which was scurrying about in his palm.

“He's in the chemistry lab,” Flowers told him. “You should be careful, though; he doesn't like to have his work interrupted by anyone.”

“Oh, then – we don't have to return the mouse now...” Jasper said, pulling his hand back to himself.

Flowers waved her hands. “No, no, he'll be fine with it if you were returning one of his mice! You know what, I should come with you, if it will make you feel better.”

“Are you sure? You don't have to do that.”

“No, no, it's fine.”

Feeling there wasn't anything left to do, Jasper let Flowers lead the way to the chemistry lab. Once they got to said lab, Flowers knocked on the door, before letting herself in with an “We're coming in.”

Jasper glanced inside, and saw Griffin inside – and next to him was Archer. The two of them looked a little disheveled, and possibly embarrassed. Flowers didn't seem to mind them, though, but Griffin saw the newcomers and frowned.

“What're you two doing in here?” he asked, putting his hands behind his back.

“I-I found one of your mice, sir,” Jasper said, holding up the mouse which was now being kept busy by another piece of bread. “Do I have to take it to your room, or...?”

Griffin held a hand out for the mouse, and Jasper gently gave it to him. He looked down at the mouse – what was there to see, though – before placing it in a box that Jasper didn't notice before. Judging from the holes in the cover and the squeaks coming from inside, the other invisible mice seemed to be inside as well. Jasper looked back up at Griffin, and noticed that two buttons were undone on his shirt.

“Did the two of you really have to come together?” Griffin asked, eyeing Flowers. “You know I don't like to be interrupted.”

“I'm sure it was a lovely chemistry lesson you were teaching Archer there, Mr. Griffin.” Flowers smiled coyly, and Jasper was not prepared to see red color Griffin's cheeks.

“You really going to say that in front of the kid?” he asked, gesturing to Jasper.

But Flowers only giggled. “Since you two are so busy here, Jasper and I will be taking our leave. And do remember to be careful around the chemicals.”

Flowers turned towards the door, and Jasper moved to follow her, hearing Archer mumble something that he couldn't make out.

Once the two of them were outside, Jasper looked up at Flowers. “Well, I didn't know Mr. Griffin was giving chemistry lessons,” he said.

Flowers looked at Jasper, and grinned softly. “That wasn't what I meant, dear.”

“Huh?” Jasper tilted his head.

“Mr. Archer dabbles little in chemistry proper – unless we mean the chemistry between him and Mr. Griffin,” she explained. “The two of them are...how shall we say this? They're...” She searched for a better word, before throwing a hand up. “They're lovers.”

“What?”

“It's been going on before you came here,” Flowers told Jasper. “It's quite a funny story how we found out, actually.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, this fanfic is finished! Thank you all for reading the whole thing through!
> 
> I'm actually working on another fanfic in the same continuity, which will explain everything that has to do with Griffin and Archer's relationship leading up to their realization that they like each other. Which is good, considering everything seemed to come out of nowhere. Keep your eyes peeled for it!


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